restless_heart_syndrome_

Chapter 75

Billie: Adie looked at me with a depressed look full of guilt... I knelt in front of her apologetically and said, "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair.Please don't get me wrong.I want you to be happy, honey.I just wish that I were your Charlie, it hurts to see you in another man's arms." Adie stroked my head lovingly.It reminded me of the past... I love it when she does that.She gently rubbed my hair and fondled my head.She used to do that to calm me down... "If he's the man you want... then I'll let you go," I sobbed with a heavy heart.I looked up at her and saw a tear roll down her beautiful rose cheek... I gently wiped it away. "Don't worry about me Adie, I'll be fine.I want you to be happy, he is a good guy, he loves and cares about you.But I have a question, please answer it honestly... if I had a normal life without the spot, would I have a chance against Charlie? Or is he the one for you...? Adie shook her head and cried "please don't ask me this," but I needed to know the answer... "please" I begged. "Would I have a chance to fight for you if I wasn't who I am?" She sobbed "maybe, I don't know." The realization that my dream job was the reason why the woman I loved didn't want me was unbearable.One word from Adie, and I would give up everything for her. "Would it change anything if I fought for you now? Can I do anything? Tell me what I can do.I don't want to lose you, Adie, I don't want to be indifferent to you..." Adie gently took my face in her hand, "you know that I care about you.I would love to have you around me, but we both know it's impossible... Please promise me that you will not give up. Promise that you will go on tour, that you will not get drunk, that if you meet a nice woman you like, you will give love another chance..." she begged. "I don't want anyone, I want you. I can't promise, you are asking too much, Adie" "You can, Billie, please for me." With a heavy heart, I promised to let her go and look ahead. Now after all these years we came to the point where I never wanted to be with her, farewell. I gave her one last kiss, took her tightly in my arms, whispered one last time "I love you" and left. She replied I love you too and did let me go...