restless_heart_syndrome_

Chapter 121

*1st February 2007* Mike: 1 month ago today Billie disappeared and left us all in the lurch. Especially Adie and the baby. I hoped that he would come back. But every day that passed felt like a slap in the face... I knew exactly that he didn't come because he was ashamed that he ran away. But I wish he would understand that this only made things worse. Adie missed him... but she didn't blame him. She knew how much pain he was going through. Nora & Britt lovingly took care of her. With every day that I saw how loving Britt was with our friends, I noticed how much I loved this woman... For over 1 year I wanted to propose to her, but something always came up. I didn't want my best friend to miss this beautiful moment... it just felt wrong. But he had let me down again, as so often in the past few years... In two weeks, on Valentine's Day, I'll ask Britt if she'd like to be my wife. Tre knew about it and was very happy for me. He encouraged me in my decision and knew how much it did hurt me that Billie wasn't here... Tre promised to be back in time for my engagement. He left 3 days ago to look for Sara... He had been backing up his needs for the past few months too. But now it's time to think of ourselves. Tre had also lovingly cared for Adie for the last few months, although a part of him still suffers when he sees how in love Billie was always looking at her... Adie was doing better, which made us all very happy. In the meantime, I somehow lost hope that he would ever come back. I felt like a pessimist. I wish he would come to my engagement... but I couldn't tell how I would react. Would I be happy to see my best friend again? Am I going to be angry or sad? He was actually someone you could always rely on. It hurt that he excluded us and decided to go this way... Tre, Jason, Brian, Kevin, Britt, we all could have helped him. But he pushed us away. Brian has been suffering for over a month. He blames himself for leaving Billie alone... He loves him and is afraid that something could happen to him somewhere out there when he's alone. I will never forgive Billie for what he does to him. Brian is one of the sweetest people in the world and doesn't deserve this pain...