restless_heart_syndrome_

Chapter 69

Adie: The last two months have been very tough.Things didn't go well at work because we hardly talked to each other.Charlie didn't come to the company for the first two weeks.Nora refused to tell me where he was.When he came back, he was still hurt... both of them hardly talked to me, only the bare essentials.Charlie found it hard to stay away from me.He felt guilty for leaving me alone on my birthday, but he was too angry to talk to me.But he was still there for me... something that I've always loved and admired about him. In the last 10 years I had broken his heart 1000 times, but he never stopped loving me and taking care of me. In the last 2 months, he made me something to eat, he made sure that I drank enough, made sure that I slept enough and so on. All that even though I had hurt him again. He was the dearest and most loyal person I knew. His love was unconditional, and I didn't deserve him. Billie was different, I love him in his own way. When I said something to Billie, he took my words seriously and heeded it. With Charlie, it was like he could read my mind, he knew when I was lying or when I was telling the truth. He would have known that 10 years ago I didn't want Billie to go, he would never have left me alone... this pain was deep inside me to this day. For 10 years my heart longed for a word, a token of love from Billie. But it didn't happen, it was as if he had just forgotten me and lived on...

After work I went home. My thoughts about Billie have always been so painful. I was tidying up the closet in my room when I noticed something. The gift from Billie. I haven't opened any presents as my birthday this year was simply painful. I sat on my bed, hesitated for a moment, then opened the box. In the box there were exactly 123 letters from July 1994 - September 2004. He had written me a letter every month since we separated, all of them had a stamp and my address, but none of them were ever sent. A happy smile spread over my face, and I felt the tears come down. I had expected a lot, but nothing like that. He had thought of me, he never forgot me, that had touched me. I made myself comfortable in my bed and began to read his handwritten letters...