F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep 10: The One With The Monkey

[Scene: Angelica and Eliza's, Alexander is entering.]

Alexander: Guys? There's uh.. somebody I'd like you to meet.

(A monkey jumps onto his shoulder.)

All: Oooh!

Angelica: W-wait. What is that?

Alexander: 'That' would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?

Angelica: No, no, I don't.

Eliza: Oh, he is precious! Where did you get him?

Alexander: My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.

Peggy: That is so cruel! Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?

John: Hey, that monkey's got an Alex on its ass!

Angelica: Alexander, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?

Alexander: Yeah. I mean, it's been kinda quiet since Caroline left, so...

Angelica: Why don't you just get a roommate?

Alexander: Nah, I dunno... I think you reach a certain age, having a roommate is kinda pathe- (Realises that both Angie, Eliza, John and Herc are roommates) ....sorry, that's, that's 'pathet', which is Sanskrit for 'really cool way to live'.

[Scene: Central Perk, Peggy is getting ready to sing. Hercules is not there.]

Peggy: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide and one about a snowman.

John: Might wanna open with the snowman.

(Enter Hercules)

All: Hey, Hercules. Hey, buddy.

Angelica: So, how'd it go?

Hercules: Ahhhhhh, I didn't get the job.

Alexander: How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.

Hercules: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.

Angelica: So what are you gonna be?

Hercules: Ah, I'm gonna be one of his helpers. It's just such a slap in the face, y'know?

Eliza: Hey, do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's? (They all protest and hit her with cushions) Gee, what?! What is wrong with New Year's?

John: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!

Eliza: Well, for your information, Paolo is gonna be in Rome this New Year, so I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.

Peggy: Yeah, you wish!

John: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.

All: Yeah, okay. Alright.

John: Y'know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.

All: Woooo! Yeah!

Eliza: Peggy, you're on.

Peggy: Oh, oh, good.

Eliza: (Into microphone) Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand, Miss Peggy Van Rensselaer. Wooh!