[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience waiting for a play of Hercules's to start.]
Eliza: (reading the program) Ooh! Look! Look! Look! Look, there's Hercules's picture! This is so exciting!
John: You can always spot someone who's never seen one of his plays before. Notice, no fear, no sense of impending doom...
Peggy: The exclamation point in the title scares me. (Gesturing) Y'know, it's not just Freud, it's Freud!
(The lights dim.)
Alexander: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
(The lights go up on the stage, Hercules, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Hercules: (tries to do a German accent but fails) Vell, eva, ve've dahne sahme excellAnt wahrk here, ahnd I vould hahve to say, your prahblem ees quiiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
ahll you wahnt ees a deengle,
whaht you envy's a schwahng,
a sing through wheech you cahn teenkle,
or play weeth, or seemply let hahng...
[Scene: The Theater, the play has ended and everyone is applauding. As soon as the cast leaves, the gang all groan and sit down heavily.]
Eliza: God. I feel violated.
Angelica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
John: (staring at a woman across the room) Alexander, ten o'clock.
Alexander: Is it? Feels like two.
John: No, ten o'clock.
Alexander: What?
John: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Alexander: Oh. Hel-lo!
John: She's amazing! She makes the women that I dream about look like short, fat, bald men!
Angelica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
John: Oh yeah, and what would my opening line be? 'Excuse me. Blarrglarrghh.'
Eliza: Oh, c'mon. She's a person, you can do it!
John: Oh please, could she be more out of my league? Alex, back me up here.
Alexander: He could never get a woman like that in a million years.
John: Thanks man.
Peggy: Oh, oh, but y'know, you always see these really beautiful women with these really nothing guys, you could be one of those guys.
Angelica: You could do that!
John: Y'think?
All: Yeah!
John: Oh God, I can't believe I'm even considering this... I'm very very aware of my tongue...
Alexander: C'mon! C'mon!
John: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there and says nothing.)
Aurora: ...Yes?
John: Hi.... um... okay, next word... would be... John! John is my name, and, uh...(He clears his throat noisily)...hi..
Aurora: Yes, you said that.
YOU ARE READING
F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU
HumorFRIENDS sitcom but as the Hamilton group! Credits to creators and writers of Friends Alexander Hamilton- Ross Geller Elizabeth Schuyler- Rachel Green(e) John Laurens- Chandler Bing Angelica Schuyler- Monica Geller Hercules Mulligan- Joey Tribbianni ...
