F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep 17: The One With Two Parts, Part 2

[Scene: An Emergency Room, Eliza and Angelica enter. Eliza is limping and leaning on Angelica for support.]

Eliza: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

(They reach the desk. The bored nurse thinks she's heard it all before.)

Angelica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and-and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or-or ankle or something.

Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?

(Eliza glares at the nurse, who gives Angelica a form attached to a clipboard.)

Nurse: Fill this out and bring it back to me.

(Angelica helps Eliza over to a vacant seat.)

Eliza: Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow. Ow ow ow.

(Angelica starts on the form, while Eliza catches her breath and massages her ankle.)

Angelica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?

Eliza: You.

Angelica: Really?

Eliza: Yeah.

Angelica: Oh, that is so sweet. (Touched, she puts an arm around her friend and kisses her cheek.) Oh gosh, love you. Insurance?

Eliza: Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely, I want some of that.

Angelica: (No longer touched) you don't have insurance?

Eliza: Why, how much is this gonna cost?

Angelica: I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.

Eliza: Wel-wel-well what are we gonna do?

Angelica: Well there's not much we can do.

Eliza: (Like a big baby) Um... unless, unless I use yours.

Angelica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.

Eliza: (Tapping the clipboard) well, now, wait a second, who did I just put as my "In case of emergency" person?

Angelica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.

Eliza: Well, alright, then, forget it. (Getting up to go) Might as well just go home. Ow ow ow ow!

Angelica: (Jumping up to make Eliza sit down) Okay, okay. I hate this.

Eliza: Thank you. Thank you. I love you.

Angelica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).

Nurse: Why?

Angelica: (Tiny laugh) I am really an idiot. (Tiny laugh) you see, I was filling out my friend's form, and instead of putting her information, (tiny laugh) I put mine.

Nurse: You are an idiot. (She hands over a blank form).

Angelica: (Tiny laugh) yep, that's me, (tiny laugh) I am that stupid (tiny laugh).

[Scene: Central Perk, John, has split up his newspaper so Hercules can look at the funnies, while Alexander's inappropriate joke at Lamaze class has come back to haunt him.]

Alexander: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.

John and Hercules: That's nice.