F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep 18: The One with All The Poker

(The whole gang is helping Eliza mail out resumes while whistling the theme from The Bridge on the River Kwai.)

Alexander: Uh, Eliza, we're running low on resumes over here.

Angelica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?

John: Well, if you're gonna work for mechanics, those are the ones to work for.

Eliza: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'

Alexander: Eliza, did you proofread these?

Eliza: Uh... yeah, why?

Alexander: Uh, nothing, I'm sure they'll be impressed with your excellent compuper skills.

Eliza: (upset) Oh my Goood! Oh, do you think it's on all of them?

Hercules: Oh no, I'm sure the Xerox machine caught a few.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, Alexander and John are sitting at a table. Eliza is working. Angelica and Peggy enter.]

Angelica: Hey, guys.

John and Alexander: Hey.

Eliza: Hey... hi, ladies... uh, can I get you anything? (to Angelica, quietly): Did you bring the mail?

Angelica: Lots of responses.

Eliza: (to Angelica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Angelica): OK, read them to me.

Peggy: (reading): Dear Ms. Schuyler, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)

Eliza: (out loud): We have apple cinnamon...

Angelica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Schuyler... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter)

Peggy: Wow!

Eliza: What?

Peggy: (reading): Your Visa bill is huge!

Eliza: (grabs the bill) Give me that!

(Camera cuts to John and Alexander at table.)

John: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?

Alexander: I don't know.

John: Is this still about her whole 'The Flintstones could've really happened' thing?

Alexander: No, it's not just that. It's just—I want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Eliza)

John: ...little playthings with yarn?

Alexander: What?

John: Could you want her more?

Alexander: Who?

John: (sarcastically) Dee, the sarcastic sister from Whats Happening.

Alexander: Look, I am totally, totally over her, OK, I just... (Eliza comes over, Alexander lays head on table): Hiiii!

Eliza: Hi! How are you?

Alexander: We're fine, we're fine.

Eliza: Okay! (walks away)

(Alexander keeps staring at her, head on table. John smacks him with a newspaper. Hercules enters, Alexander and John laugh at him.)