F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep 6: The One With the Baby on the Bus

[Scene: Angelica and Eliza's, Angelica, John, Hercules, Alexander and Philip are there. Philip is sitting in his little rocking seat.]

Angelica: Who da penny-Pippy boy? You the penny-wenny-Pippy-Pippy boy, yes. (Philip starts crying.) Don't cry. Don't cry. (To Alexander) Why is he still crying?

Alexander: Let me hold him for a sec. There. (Philip stops crying) Huh? There we are.

Angelica: Maye it's me.

Alexander: Don't be silly. Philip loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.

John: You know, I once dated a Miss Crankypants. Lovely girl, kinda moody.

Alexander: There we go. All better. (gives Philip back to Angelica)

Angelica: There's my little boy. (Philip starts crying again)

John: Can I uh see something? (Takes Philip. When he puts him close to Angelica, Philip cries. When he moves Philip away, he stops crying. He does that a couple times.)

Hercules: Cool.

Angelica: He hates me. My nephew hates me.

Alexander: Come on, don't do this.

Angelica: What if my own baby hates me? Huh? What am I gonna do then?

John: Angelica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. (Angelica glares at him.) Hercules, she does not look fat.

[Scene: Angelica and Eliza's, continued from earlier. John has a basketball.]

Angelica: (to John) Here you go. (Sets a drink down in front of him.)

John: Oh hey Angelica. (He holds the basketball in front of Angelica.)

Hercules: (imitating Philip) Waah!! (John moves the basketball away) Goo, goo, goo. (John moves the basketball in front of Angelica again.) Waaah!

Angelica: That is so funny. Let me see that a sec. (She throws the ball out the window)

(Alexander starts to make some gurgling sounds.)

Hercules: Are you ok, Alexander?

Alexander: I don't know. What's in this pie?

Angelica: Uh, I don't know, butter, eggs, flour, lime, kiwi...

Alexander: Kiwi? Kiwi? You said it was a key lime pie.

Angelica: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.

Alexander: And that's what's gonna kill me. I'm allergic to kiwi.

Angelica: No you're not. You're, you're allergic to lobster and peanuts and...

Alexander: Ugh.

Angelica: Oh my god.

Alexander: Ugh. It's definitely getting worse.

Angelica: Is your tongue swelling up?

Alexander: Either that or my mouth is getting smaller.

Angelica: All right, get your coat, we're gonna go to the hospital.

Hercules: Is he gonna be ok?

Angelica: Yeah, he's just gotta get a shot.

Alexander: (sitting back down) You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone for Thcwabble?