F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep 24: The One Where Eliza Finds Out

[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Alexander is showing pictures of his new baby boy, Philip, to the group.]

Alexander: And here's little Philip nodding off...

Angelica: Awww, look at Aunt Angelica's little boy!

Peggy: Oh, look, he's got Alexander's haircut!

Eliza: Oh, let me see! (grabs picture and bends over Alexander.) Oh, God, is he just the sweetest thing? You must just want to kiss him all over!

(Alexander is practically drooling over Eliza at this point.)

Alexander: (quietly) That would be nice.

(John, annoyed with Alexander's fawning, makes a 'pfft' noise.)

Eliza: Pardon?

John: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Hercules is seated)

(Hercules is looking at his check.)

Hercules: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.

John: Oh, yeah, right, OK... inlcuding the waffles last week, you now owe me... 17 jillion dollars.

Hercules: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.

John: (sigh)... And where's this money coming from? (gives money to Hercules)

Hercules: Well... I'm helping out down at the N.Y.U. Med School with some... research.

Alexander: (overhearing) What kind of research?

Hercules: Oh, just, y'know.... science.

Alexander: Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that. (everyone's interest is piqued, they all look over)

Hercules: (sigh)... It's a fertility study.

(Eliza laughs.)

Angelica: Oh, Hercules, please tell me you're only donating your time.

Hercules: Alright, come on you guys, it's not that big a deal. Really... I mean, I just go down there every other day and... make my contribution to the project. Hey, hey, but at the end of two weeks, I get seven hundred dollars.

Alexander: Hey.

Peggy: Wow, ooh, you're gonna be making money hand over fist!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Angelica and Eliza's, Angelica and Peggy are preparing for a barbecue for Eliza's birthday.]

Angelica: OK, we got the cole slaw, we got the buns...

Peggy: We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew... (hands meat to Angelica)

(John and Hercules enter with charcoal.)

John: (in a deep voice) Men are here.

Hercules: We make fire. Cook meat.

John: Then put out fire by peeing, no get invited back.

Angelica and Peggy: Ewww!

Angelica: Oh Hercules, Melanie called, said she's gonna be late.

Hercules: Oh, OK.

Peggy: So how are things going with you two? Is she becoming your (provocatively) special someone?