F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep: 23 The One With The Birth

[Scene: The hospital, Alexander, Eliza, John, Hercules, and Angelica are in the waiting room, waiting for Caroline and Sammy to arrive.]

Alexander: She's not here yet. She's not here. She's having my baby and she's not here.

Angelica: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet?

Alexander: I don't know, but when I spoke to her, she said she had already passed the mucus plug.

Hercules: What is that?

(Angelica whispers to him the meaning of it and Hercules's face turns into disgust)

(Hercules makes a sound of absolute disgust.)

Hercules: Do we have to know about that?

Angelica: Hercules, what are you gonna do when you have a baby?

Hercules: I'm gonna be in the waitin' room, handing ou...how do you say?..um.. cigars!

John: Yes, Hercules's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.

Alexander: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.

Eliza: Oh, Alexander, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.

(Everyone looks at Eliza as though she made a tasteless comment.)

Eliza: What, it's ok when John does it?

John: You have to pick your moments.

(Peggy arrives, guitar in hand.)

Peggy: Did I miss it, did I miss it?

Alexander: She's not even here yet.

Angelica: What's with the guitar?

Peggy: I just thought we might be here for a while. You know, things might get musical.

(Caroline and Sammy arrive.)

Alexander: (to Caroline) Where the hell have you been?

Sammy: We stopped at the gift shop.

Caroline: I was looking at stuffed animals, and Sammy wanted a Chunky.

Alexander: Sammy wanted a Chunky. We're having a baby, ok, a baby, you don't stop for Chunkys.

John: I used to have that bumper sticker.

(Everyone is amused by John's comment.)

John: (to Eliza) You see what I mean.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Caroline's Hospital Room, Caroline is on the bed, Alexander and Sammy are at her side.]

Alexander: Stopped for a Chunky.

Caroline: Let it go, Alex.

Sammy: I got an extra one. You want this? (holds the candy in front of Alexander' face)

Alexander: (weakly) No.

(Caroline's doctor, Dr. Franzblau arrives.)

Dr. Franzblau: Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?

Alexander: Dr. Franzblau, hi.

Dr. Franzblau: So, I understand you're thinking of having a baby? Well, I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start. How you doing with your contractions?