F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep 9: The One With Peggy's Dad

[Scene: Angelica and Eliza's apartment. Angelica, Eliza, Alexander, and Peggy are there. Peggy is looking out the window.]

Peggy: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.

[John and Herc enter.]

Herc: Hey.

John: Hey.

Eliza: Hey.

Herc: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?

John: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.

Angelica: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.

John: And twenty-five it is.

Herc: You gave him cookies?

Angelica: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.

Peggy: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.

John: Peggs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?

Peggy: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.

Alexander: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?

Eliza: Uhh, the mailman, the super.

[There's a bang at the door.]

Angelica: Oh, and the newspaper delivery guy.

[Herc opens the door and picks up the remnants of the newspaper.

Herc: Oh my God.

Eliza: What?

Herc: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.

[Herc shows them the torn-up newspaper.]

Eliza: Ooh, goooosh, ooh, these are cookies smashed in the sports section.

Angelica: Oh look, and he did my crossword puzzle.

Alexander: Yeah, but not very well, unless 14-across, 'Gershwin musical' actually is bitemebitemebitemebiteme.

[Scene: Central Perk. Angelica, John, and Herc are seated at couches. Eliza is working behind the counter.]

Herc: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.

John: Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year.

[Alexander enters with several bags from shopping.]

Alexander: Hey guys.

John, Angelica, and Herc: Hey.

[Alexander approaches Eliza at the counter.]

Alexander: Hey Lizzy. I, uh, got you a little present. [Eliza is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks downstairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me because of the whole. . .

Eliza: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?

Alexander: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Eliza walks off] Hey Ron, you got stairs in your place?

Ron: Yeah.

Alexander: Here, go nuts. [gives him the Slinky and goes and sits with others at the couches]