F.R.I.E.N.D.S Hamilton AU

Ep 20: The One With The Evil Orthodontist

[Scene: Angelica and Eliza's, everyone is there.]

John: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.

Hercules: No way! Mr. Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, the toughest snack there is.

Alexander: I don't know, you don't wanna mess with corn nuts. They're craaazy.

Angelica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!

Alexander: I can't believe it! He's looking right at us!

Eliza: Oh, that is so sick.

John: I feel violated. And not in a good way.

Peggy: How can people do that?... (All but Peggy walk away from the window in disgust.) Oh, you guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots!

Opening Credits

[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Eliza is there.]

John: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...

Angelica: So have you called her yet?

John: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane? (The girls make disgusted noises.) It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem? (To the guys) I'm right, right?

Hercules and Alexander: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.

Angelica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.

Peggy: Oh, God, just do it! (Grabbing the phone.) Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!

John: Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. (Calls her, then hurriedly hangs up.) I got her machine.

Hercules: Her answer machine?

John: No, interestingly enough her leaf blower picked up.

Peggy: So, uh, why didn't you say anything?

John: Oh, no-no-no-no. Last time I left a spontaneous message I ended up using the phrase "Yes indeedy-o."

Angelica: Look look! It's Eliza and Aaron. No, don't everybody look at once!

Alexander: Okay, okay, what's going on?

Peggy: Okay, they're just talking...

Alexander: Yeah, well, does he look upset? Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?

Peggy: No, no actually, he's smiling.. and... Oh my God, don't do that!!

Alexander: What? What? What?!

Peggy: That man across the street just kicked that pigeon! (Eliza enters.) Oh!

John: (bluffing) And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law!

All: Oh!... Right!

John: Hey Eliza!

Angelica: How'd it go?

Eliza: Y'know, it was, uh.. it was actually really great. He took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room, and I had that chicken, where y'know you poke it and all the butter squirts out...