metanoia

Chapter Eighty-eight

"Are you sure you want to be participating in those Occlumency lessons with Dumbledore?" Sirius asked, watching Alex lean against the wall for a moment and cradle her growing baby bump. "Moony would kill me if I didn't try to get you to take it easy."

Alex sent a steely glare at her best friend, her head pounding from the first half of her lesson with Dumbledore. They'd spent the past three hours testing how well she could keep him from going through her memories, having taken a break for her to eat. "Pads, since that first mission you, Kingsley and I went on, Dumbledore has not let me go on a mission and I'm the best duelist here. All I can do is take lessons with him in case things go sideways and I somehow cross paths with Riddle."

"I know but-"

"There are no buts, Sirius," she sternly told him, pounding her closed fist against the tabletop. "No. I am doing this, I have to. Don't you understand? It's not just me I have to look out for anymore. My memories and visions aren't what I care about anymore. I have to protect my mind so I can protect my daughter, so I can protect my godson, so I can protect you and Jamie and Lily and Remus."

"Okay." Sirius sat beside his friend, taking her hand in his. They sat at the long wooden table in complete silence, listening to the rustling and movement about the Headquarters around them. Suddenly, he felt as though someone was watching them which made him look around them to try and find their onlooker. 

"You really thought you were going to get me, Albus?" Alex randomly asked, not looking up from her tea cup.

Albus entered the room, seating himself across the table from the pair, a smile claiming his mouth. "That was a nice touch, Alex. Bringing the first memory of you and Sirius to the front of your mind to keep me from knowing what you were thinking."

"I told you, I'm better at this than you think I am. I've spent years making my mind emotionless and blank."

"And I didn't know that on your last mission with Mr. Bones, Longbottom and Pettigrew, you found out Mr. Bones was afraid of the dark, Mr. Black. I thought everyone knew that."

Sirius looked between Dumbledore and Alex, just having realized that the feeling he had of someone watching them was Dumbledore looking into their minds to catch Alex off-guard. "You know that is a total invasion of privacy, right? Just allowing yourself to sift through my mind at your will."

"Which is why, I've been having Alex learn how to be a master over her mind and block unwanted visitors out. I apologize for going into your mind, Sirius, it was a by-product of being locked out of her mind," Dumbledore apologized as he rose from the table, nodding at the blonde for her to follow him so they could resume their lesson for the afternoon.

Alex shook her head, stirring a sugar cube into her tea, "No. I'm done for the day. I'm tired of having you attempt to penetrate my mind. You've failed continually for the past 12 months, you're not going to get lucky now that I'm pregnant and my hormones are all out of whack."

Albus Dumbledore stared at the back of Alex's head in shock, astonished that she shut him down completely. And he tried one more time, delving through her thoughts but yet again was met with a memory of her and Noah learning how to ride a bike when they were in Primary school. With a defeated sigh, he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his robes, "Fine. We can resume tomorrow."

"He really hasn't been able to look into your mind for a year?" asked Sirius after Dumbledore excused himself from the room and Apparated back to Hogwarts. 

She nodded, sipping her steaming peppermint tea. "He could every so often when he and I first started having lessons, he said that because I trained myself to be emotionless and numb for so many years helps because if you allow emotions to fill your mind a Legilimens can take that and let themselves in."

"You become cooler and cooler, you know that? First you get visions of the future and now you can keep people from reading your mind."

She snorted at him, shaking her head, "It's not that cool. But thanks, I appreciate the fact you find me cool. Even though these visions and prophecies are filled with death."

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."

"Isn't that the "Big One"? The prophecy about how Riddle will die?" Sirius asked, waiting for Alex to return to herself mentally.

She nodded, chewing on her bottom lip before she answered him. "Yeah. Is it bad of me that every night I pray that Lily and I have our children either before July or after that way our kids will be safe?"

"No, not at all. I hope it's not either one of my godchildren."

She raised an eyebrow at Sirius, fighting off the urge to laugh at how he assumed himself to be her unborn child's godfather, "What makes you think you're going to be her godfather? Or that Remus and I are going to assign her godparents? He and I haven't even talked about it yet, with him being undercover with the werewolves and everything."

Sirius scoffed at her, rolling his eyes at her question, "Why wouldn't I be her godfather? I'm your best friend. And you wouldn't want to make James her godfather because he's about to have his own kid. So that would leave her potential godfathers to be myself, Fabian or Gideon. So naturally you'll pick me."

"Why not Fab or Gid? They're amazing with kids, you've seen them with their nephews."

"Lex, don't make me beg," he scolded her, knowing that she was amused by making him explain why he thought he should be her daughter's godfather. "I want to be her godfather. Please."

"Sirius, I wasn't going to ask you to be her godfather because we're already Harry's godparents. So what happens, God forbid, if James, Lily, Remus and I all die? Do you really think you could raise two kids all by yourself?" 

He nodded, having already thought everything through, "My Uncle Alphard left me everything in his will. So, I'd have the money to raise them. I'd have Molly Weasley help me if I was desperate. But, I could do it. I want to do it. Other than James and Letti, I'm all the family you have. I want my niece to be with me if something were to happen to you two."

"I want her to have you, too."

"So, I'm her godfather?" he asked excitedly, tightening his grip on her hand.

Alex chuckled at his excitement, trying to settle him down before he got too excited, "I have to talk to Remus about it, but yes you can be her godfather. But you are going to share that title with James."

"That's fine by me!"