metanoia

Chapter Nine

"Lex?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you ever going to let them be your friends? They're really trying and they clearly care about you as we just saw," Gideon abruptly asks, ruffling his cropped copper hair as Alex's wet curls bounce as they walk back to the Castle.

The older of the twins looks down at his girlfriend, genuinely shocked by the bluntness of the question. Alex looked up at her short haired friend, sharing Fabian's confusion, "Do you- Do you mean the Marauders? Are you sure that they're "really trying" or are they playing some really long term prank on me?"

At the mere suggestion of the Marauders playing a prank on her, Letti sighed in annoyance at Alex's skepticism and distrust, "Allie, I get it. After what happened with... you- you don't trust anyone except for us. I mean you learned to trust Charlie, so why can't you try to trust them too? I trust them. They're not like him, they won't hurt you. Noah would want you to give them a chance, you know that. You can't just spend the rest of your life closed off to the world."

Letti led Gideon up the stone path back towards the Castle, leaving Alex and Fabian standing in shocked silence. Fabian silently cursed his brother and girlfriend for their lack of compassion. Typically, Letti understands where Alex's coming from in her general distrust of people, but as of late the brunette just wants nothing more than for Alex to be herself with more than her four chosen friends but her pushing everyone away made it that much more difficult. 

Fabian lightly lays his left hand on his friend's forearm then immediately retracts his hand, recognizing in her angry yet blank stare that she didn't want to be touched at the moment, "I'll- I'll go talk to them, Xander. I'm so sorry, she didn't have the right to bring him up. Especially to use him against you."

She slowly nodded, feeling the lingering warmth on her arm where his hand had been moments before. Seeing Letti actually angry with her really affected Alex. She's never been truly mad at her, nor left her alone, not since that summer. The blonde fell to her knees as Fabian's shoulder length hair swayed in the wind, cradling her bag to her chest, suddenly feeling her chest tighten at the reminder of that year.

Second year was not something she wished to relive nor to be reminded of because no one should have to experience what she went through that year even once. With her knuckles becoming bone white from the deadly grip she had on her bag, Alex began to hysterically hyperventilate, her mind filling with the thoughts and haunting memories of what happened 4 years prior as heavy footsteps came up the footpath behind her. 

"Hey Worth," Sirius sang rhythmically while drumming his fingertips lightly on her shoulder. When he didn't get the response he initially expected from her, he craned his neck to meet her eyes and realized that she was hyperventilating. 

"Wait, are you okay?" Sirius inquired as he kneels down beside her and rubs circles on her lower back, watching the normally stoic girl become vulnerable in front of him. As she jerked her bruised body away from his comforting touch, Sirius sighs begging her, "Alex? Please talk to me, I know you don't want to be friends but you can trust me."

She looks up through the thin veil created by her loose curls at the oldest Marauder, seeing him as she did after their lesson on Boggarts. Remembering the look of fear he had in his grey eyes when looking at himself as the villain. Now seeing sincerity and concern in those same eyes. 

Though her execution was poor, Alex now understood why Letti said what she said. Bringing up her brother to stoke the flame, knowing that her brother would resonate more than anything else they could do or say. Letti saw what she didn't: that these boys were just like Noah, wanting to make friends and enjoy the lives given to them. "You really meant when you said you wanted to be friends, didn't you?"