metanoia

Chapter Thirty-seven

Needless to say, Lily had finally had enough of the whole Marauders bullshit that's been ongoing for months now. She didn't know much about the situation, but she did know that Remus, Alex, Letti and James currently aren't talking to Sirius because of something he did, not that she gets to know the reason. And Peter is sticking with Sirius because Peter never liked Alex. Anyone with eyes could tell he was jealous of the attention she got from the other Marauders. James finally came around and now he and Sirius want to try and resolve the problem. However, Remus, Letti and Alex aren't budging in wanting to speak with him.

Letti and Remus have been feeling guilty and hating themselves about not listening to Alex. Which gave Lily some background but not enough to know what happened exactly. Now, Remus and Alex aren't talking because of something that happened a few weeks back. And Lily is, of course, stuck in the middle of it all because she doesn't know who's side to be on because no one will tell her the full story.

Lily, Letti and Alex were relaxing in their dormitory after finishing their final Potions exam. Their roommates were periodically coming in and out of the room, excitedly chatting about the break that was fastly approaching. Alex had been intensely staring at the picture that her Aunt gave her when she spent Winter Holiday with the Marauders. She watched her mother coo at her newborn twins and became envious of the baby versions of her and her brother.

They'd yet to experience heartache or betrayal or anger or depression, they were perfect and pure.

Alex wished more than anything that she could go back to that time. The time before magic and the Wizarding World, when she hadn't been broken or corrupted and she lived happily with her family. But that was never going to happen and it wasn't really true when she first lived it.

Letti was laying on her back, throwing a Quaffle up in the air to keep her mind off things. She couldn't help but be angry at herself, equally as much as she was angry with Sirius. Because if she hadn't put the damn sugar in their Wolfsbane that morning then this wouldn't have been as bad as it is. Of course, Alex immediately forgave her and Remus for screwing up the potion but now she wouldn't let them deal with the potion on their own. After the Prank, Letti was, now more than ever, scared to even have Alex with her on Full Moons because she now knows what it's like when she sees a human, what she's capable of and she didn't want to put her best friend at risk.

"What the Hell is going on with you two and the Marauders? Why are you all at odds?" Lily asked, breaking their absolute silence as Charlie happily walked into the room.

Alex mindfully placed the picture back on her bedside table, sighing at her friend's inquiry, "Let's just say that Sirius did something terrible and almost got someone seriously hurt."

Lily knew what she meant, Severus came to her months ago telling her about his theory on Remus Lupin and how they weren't as perfect as everyone thought. James saved his life that night, she knew that much, but she wasn't sure how everyone else fit into it.

"Okay, fine. But why aren't you and Remus talking anymore? I thought he was one of them you liked the most."

"He was- I mean he is but, again, he and I had a... disagreement. He doesn't want me getting into a bigger mess than I'm already in," Alex sighed, vividly remembering the night they last spoke.

The conversation consisted of screaming and a kiss.

Since the kiss, Remus actively avoided her. Taking extraordinary measures to stay away, to distance himself from her as she did to Sirius. He genuinely doesn't want to hurt her but by avoiding her the way he was only had hurt her worse.

Letti read Alex's vacant expression, seeing through the wall she put up to protect herself and saw the hurt in her eyes as she reflected on their falling out. "He fancies you, you know? He's just trying not to hurt you with the whole Marauders drama."