metanoia

Chapter Thirty-nine

Since having come home for the summer, James has become quite perplexed by his friends nature towards each other. For example one day, Alex would be super friendly and goofy with him and Sirius, as if nothing had happened. And then the next, she would refuse to be in the same room as him.

Most days, Alex spent her mornings in the Potter garden reading a book, sketching or writing her latest letter to Narcissa and Amos, keeping her mind and hands busy and far away from the boys. Her afternoons consisted of whatever mundane task she assigned to herself that day, whether it be cleaning the house or work in the garden or even completing her summer assignments for her N.E.W.T's classes in the fall.

Needless to say, Lisette didn't even know what was going on with Alex, she never had been so flip 180 before.

James was determined to figure out what was wrong with his cousin and best friend. James knocked on Alex's bedroom door one evening, after everyone had retired to their rooms or their own activities, calling for her through the heavy wooden door, "Hey Andy, could I come in?"

"Sure I guess, come on in," Alex called through the door, absent-mindedly sketching the picture of her as an infant.

James slowly pushed open the door, seeing his curly haired cousin sit cross legged on her chair sketching. James sat on the foot of her bed, facing his cousin, "Hey, why don't you and I go into town tomorrow? Just me and you."

Alex looked up at her cousin, a single curl obstructing her view of the smiling boy. Tucking the curl behind her ear, she nodded her head, "Sure, I'd like that Jamie."

The next morning, Alex and James used the Floo Network and went to Diagon Alley to spend the day shopping for school and browsing.
Diagon Alley was so different as of late. It was full of clustered groups of scared Muggleborns, pompous Purebloods and parading Death Eaters. With Voldemort on the rise, everyone that wasn't a Pureblood or on Voldemort's side were terrified of being the next family to be slaughtered in the name of the Dark Lord.

James began to pull his cousin into Zonkos, seeing that they had some of the supplies that the Marauder's had been running low on sitting in the display window, right as a horde of Death Eaters marched right past them. Alex watched them going by, recognizing a few of the younger members. Amongst that group of Death Eaters were Bellatrix Black, Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape and Regulus Black.

"Is that Snape and Regulus?" Alex asked her cousin, pulling his attention back on the group of Death Eaters.

He scanned the crowd, trying to identify them as well, grimly nodding to his friend beside him. "Do you think Padfoot knows?"

Alex looked back at her cousin, alarmed when she heard Padfoot. She looks down at her hands, simply shrugging, not verbally answering. She took one quick look back at the parade of Death Eaters, recognizing someone who was shadowing the march, "Wait a second, is that Cissa?"

"Well, she doesn't have the Mark," he concluded aloud, after making direct eye contact with her and she deliberately exposed her arms when she saw the concern in their eyes.

"That's good," she mumbled to herself, smiling faintly at the emotionless Slytherin across the street. She continued walking into the store finding a set of people she had never been happier to see, "Fab? Gid?"

The twins turn around, confused to hear their nicknames in the middle of a store that she never goes to, "Alex?"

The three collide into a group hug, leaving James to watch their reunion awkwardly. The trio continued to talk animatedly about how their holiday had been thus far, about how Fabian had been teaching their nephew Charlie how to be a Seeker like he'd done for their older nephew Bill and how Gideon was imparting his love for dragons on Charlie, leaving James to finish his shopping. When she finally noticed that James was done with his task, Alex bid the duo farewell leaving the store with her cousin to continue their day alone.

They continued their walk down the cobblestone street, looking into the shop windows, talking about his and Lily's relationship and school and her newfound friendships with Amos Diggory and Narcissa Black, watching as people passed them. Alex suddenly stopped, staring into a store window at the fastest broom she's ever seen.

"Why don't you get it?" James asked over her shoulder, admiring the broom as well.

She shook her head, moving on from the store front, "No. I don't have the money. Right now, I have 10 Galleons to my name and that's because I won that bet with Digs about winning the Quidditch House Cup. And besides, any money that Letti and I do get goes straight to our school materials. Then I whatever money I earn through the bets I make with Fabian and Gideon at the Sorting ceremony goes to the Wolfsbane."

"Well, I do have money," James announced, pulling her into the store and buying her the broom with all the money he had left in his pockets.

When they left the store, Alex was carrying her very own broom, not one she had to borrow from the school. She was crying at the extravagant gift. James saw this and raised his hands in front of her face like claws and crossed his eyes to make her laugh. Laughing at her goofball friend, Alex wiped the tears from her eyes thanking her cousin. 

"It's not a problem," James told her, throwing his arm across her shoulder without so much as a second thought.

They'd become so close since Christmas that she didn't even flinch when he even brushed against her arm. 

Continuing down the street Alex pulled her cousin into Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlour, announcing that this would be her treat because she felt that she had to in some way repay her friend for his kindness. She got two scoops of French vanilla while James got two of Sticky Toffee Pudding. The two sat at a small table in the corner of the parlour their friend's dad owned, quietly enjoying their ice cream when James saw this as his window of opportunity.

"Andy, don't get mad at me for asking. I know you're tired of having to explain how you're feeling. But I've got to know, what's been going on with you? For the past three weeks now, you've been so off and on in regards to Sirius. Is it that you haven't forgiven him for "the Prank" or that there's something else?" James asked as he twirled his spoon around the bowl, knowing what Amos had told Sirius about her not being able to forgive him.

Alex began to choke on her ice cream from the surprise of the question. She hadn't realized that James noticed her indifference toward Sirius, but to be fair she currently was indifferent toward all the Marauders except James. She coughed into a napkin, "Nothing has been going on, James. I've- I've gotten over it. I've forgiven Sirius, I have, but a part of me is still trying to figure out what's going on with my place in this group."

She wasn't lying. She knew where she stood, they all loved her except for Peter. She wasn't dumb, she's known since day one that Peter didn't like her. But the moment between her and Sirius confused her, not understanding what caused that almost kiss. Then with Remus, her kissing him to make him stop freaking out. The only one for certain she knew wasn't going to confuse her was James.

James felt that there was more to the truth than what she was telling him. She, of course, knew that they all loved her and wanted her to be a part of their lives. As much as they've changed Alex, she has changed their lives. She didn't know but both Sirius and Remus felt something more than friendship for her but neither cared to admit it to her any time soon. Nor has Remus admitted it to himself yet.

 "Good because there's no point in hating someone you love. Okay, I just wanted to make sure there wasn't going to be anymore fighting. And you are a Marauder, whether you like it or not."

"Who said I love you guys?" Alex laughs, teasing as she throws a balled up napkin at his forehead.

James took a spoonful of his ice cream and shoved it into his mouth, talking with his mouth full, "I do. I say. You have to because we're family. It's the rules."

"Whatever you say, little cousin," she scoffed, continuing her ice cream.

"I'm like a foot taller than you, Short Stack," James snickered.

The blonde, who stands at barely five foot tall, shrugged, "And I'm three months older than you, Giant."