Camera Shy

C- 23 Life behind the lens isn't always so pretty.

**************TRIGGER WARNING****************SELF HARMING REFERENCE***********

After a short drive while being forced listening to one of Deadly Sins' albums on shuffle, loudly, we pull up to an old looking church surrounded by old brick walls. The place is stunning, flowers all in bloom and the most amazing assortment of colours and scents awaken my senses.

As we enter a large, bricked archway I realise where we are heading. I see some gravestone up ahead and although I'm with TJ and obviously completely safe, it's still a little weird.

I look up at him as we walk and notice as his face becomes unreadable, which for TJ is not often the case. I offer a smile to try to lighten whatever this mood is that's taken over.

"So, first you torture me with the band's music and now you are going to bury me alive in the cemetery? I'm a little surprised by this dark side of yours."

His gaze captures mine and he lets a low laugh, "Who said I was burying you alive?"

He gives me a wicked grin.

We walk along a path and after a few bends and path changes, he stops. He places a pebble painted with a rainbow, on the gravestone and crouches down, cleaning out the dead flowers and weeds.

I stand there a little awkwardly. Dead bodies and ghosts freak me out, but he has let me into his secret world, so I wait patiently until he finally turns around and gives me a warm smile.

"Jamie, this is Hannah." He moves to the side and I read her headstone. She would have been our age and died five years ago. Her headstone is beautiful, it has a photo of her with a huge smile and cuddling a puppy. There are engravings on her headstone and the writing is incredibly unique. There's a quote on the bottom and as I read it, it sounds so familiar.

'Look for me in the stars, in every flower that blooms and know, my love will never leave your side.'

"Wait, that's what's written on your chest! Your tattoo?" I say shocked.

He nods and then sits down. He pats the grass for me to join him.

"I know your mind is probably already made up, but you have to be aware of the world you are agreeing to be a part of. It's not all just fun and trashy headlines."

"I'm here TJ and I'm listening. Tell me Hannah's story."

He lets out a long breath, "We dated at school. She was incredibly supportive of the band and, unlike some people, she LOVED our music." He turns and playfully glares at me.

"We parted ways once the band became famous, she didn't want a life in front of the camera and I couldn't blame her. Sometimes I hate it too. When Reece met Chloe and started going down the wrong path, our music just stopped. I headed home and Hannah and I reconnected. It was as though we'd never been apart. She'd never found anyone else and neither had I. So, we started dating again, we even talked about marriage and children."

"What happened TJ?" I ask, as I hold his shaking hand.

"Reece visited and he was finally seeing Chloe for what she was and so we jammed together and it sounded amazing. We agreed to give it another go as long as the others were on board. Obviously, they were and Hannah was completely supportive, I had everything. But once Chloe got a whiff of us making a comeback, the group suffered again and it was Hannah that was given the blame. She was plastered all over the papers. They bullied her on everything from her hair styles, clothing and even her purse.... Slowly she pulled away from me and everyone around her ... and then I got a call from her mum. She was found in bed, she wasn't breathing. For an exceptionally long time, I didn't think I would ever work with music again, but I know that's not what she'd want."