Our indelible pasts|✔

six - kiana

MY MOTIVATION TO get into law was further increased when I met Kimberly...or Kim rather, her preferred way to be called. Getting to know her also meant getting to know more about the broken foster care system in this country. She's been a part of it since she was three when she was abandoned by her parents. That's at least what she thinks anyway, among other ideas. She didn't stay with her first foster parents long enough to get to have that conversation so she never actually found out what happened. Determined to find out the truth, she applied to universities here so that she could get the answers she wants. What she does know is that her first foster home was here, leading her to believe that the answers must lie here.

Over the past year she's been here in New York, she's been coming to the city's human services agency every three months, hoping that each time she comes, there'll be a discovery. And I've brought her here, every single time.

"No!" A male voice shouts disrupting my thoughts. "There has to be something!" The voice erupts through the air again. "Anything!"

I look around for the source when I see a door opposite me swing open. The person who steps out looks about my age. He runs a hand over his dark face before he turns back to face the person at the desk inside the room. The lady inside speaks to him but her voice is too soft and far for me to pick what she says to him.

"It's been four years! Four!" He replies to her, pain breaking through his voice.

Cautiously, the lady he's speaking to comes to the door. "I'm sorry Bryson. I'll keep checking. I promise."

The look on his face shows how unconvinced he is, and without another word, he turns and proceeds to leave. We lock eyes before he disappears and even though it was just for a brief moment, I could see just how broken he looked. Too broken to care that a stranger just witnessed his outburst, not even trying to hide the dismay from his demeanour.

"Yeah this system's fucked everyone in it real bad." Kimberly appears next to me.

I look at her and sigh, concern...hope, clear on my face. "Anything?" I ask her expectantly.

"No. Nothing. It's cool though." She says it like it's nothing, and it doesn't take a genius to know that she's just putting up a façade right now.

As I contemplate about it in my head, I feel my heart start to beat quicker as I struggle to make the move, breath hitching in my throat. Finally, though hesitantly, I slowly move closer to her, hoping that my mind won't betray me and I pull her into a hug. She seems taken aback by this as she freezes on spot before returning the hug, the unexpected embrace from me leaving her too stunned to speak.

I try to suppress the fear in me as she buries her face in my neck. "I'm so sorry Kim." I feel her tears on my skin, and I send a quick prayer to heaven that my own don't break through in this moment. Right now, I need to be here for my friend.