Our indelible pasts|✔

twelve - bryson

I WAS SO sure we'd be able to sort things out, but now, I don't know. I just...don't.

I clench my jaw as a I stare at the wall, trying to comprehend what she just said. I look back at her and ask. "You went to see your ex at 2 in the morning? Do you know how messed up that sounds?"

She fumbles with her fingers, looking down at them. "And I'm telling you, it's not what it looks like." I scoff but she continues. "I couldn't tell you why I've been seeing him because it's not really my place to say it."

"Seeing? As in it's happened plenty of times?" I interrupt her, blood now boiling in my veins.

She nods her head.

"I can't fucking believe it." I bolt off the bed angrily and begin pacing around. "You know what sucks about this even more? The fact that mere hours after once again getting no lead on Hazel, instead of being here for me, you went to screw your fucking ex? Of all days?"

This cannot be happening.

"Bryson...please just hear me out?" She says softly, eyes pleading with me.

I run a hand over my face. "What can you possibly say to make this better?" I look at her expectantly, my voice cracking as I ask the question.

She stays quiet for a few seconds and I sit back down, biting down on my tongue, waiting to hear what she comes up with.

"His mom is dying." Her voice is inaudible, but I hear it. And I'm taken aback.

"She has cancer. But they discovered it late and there's not much the doctors can do now." I hear her voice choking up as I stand in front of her, paralysed with guilt. I've been so selfish and let my trust for her falter when in reality, she's done nothing wrong. "She's been admitted here. In New York" She continues. "And last night he called me, crying. He was saying something's wrong. He thought she was about to die so I rushed to the hospital to be there with the both of them." Her words start to fumble with her soft sobs.

She opens her mouth to keep speaking but I cut her off with a hug. She hugs me back, bursting into tears and I put all my focus on gently rubbing her back as if doing so will take away my guilt and her pain as well.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"No, no. Don't be. I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions. I should have trusted you more." I really should have.

We lie down on the bed, cuddled up together quietly.

"Before him and I started dating or...caught feelings actually, we were close friends." Her small voice breaks the silence after a few minutes. "So, I'd go to his house regularly and his mom was mostly always there. She and I got along so well and I've pretty much looked at her as family since then. So, when she was admitted, he knew to tell me and he said he'd keep me updated. Then when things started to get worse, I decided I'd rather actually go see her myself. And as the doctors kept on bearing bad news each time, I kept on going to be a support system for the two of them." I listen intently, watching her eyes gloss up, the green of her iris dulling. "It's just him and his mom here. They don't have any family that they keep in contact with so there's no one else that could really be there for them. And I care about them both, so it only felt right. He told me not to tell anyone cause he hadn't yet, and I wanted to respect that. Today I asked him if I could tell you, and he said he understood why I should tell you."

She doesn't say anything more and I tuck a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "You have a really big heart you know? That's one of the many reasons I love you."

She smiles softly at me. That smile that gives me butterflies every damn time.

"They say she's got just a few days left. Maybe less." She says and I can see how hard she's trying not to cry again.

"You should go be with them." I know it's what's best, and I'm not going to let my selfishness and insecurities stop her. "I'll drive you. And I'll wait for you until..." I don't know how to finish the sentence without being insensitive so I trail off. "I can drive you back home each day for a shower and take you back. And I can bring you guys some food. Hospital food is nasty." She laughs softly at the last part.

"Really?" Her green eyes bore into me.

I nod. "And I'll be there for every second. In the waiting area though. I'll give you three the privacy you need. Just come to me whenever you need me. I'll be there."

"Thank you." She whispers.

I plant a kiss on her pink lips. "Go take a shower, then we'll head to the hospital."