Our indelible pasts|✔

forty one - kiana

UNFORTUNATELY, FRIDAY ROLLS around too fast. This is bad in so many ways. It means that my sister's death anniversary is just hours away and I'm about to face my dad for the first time in two months, in the house that holds my worst memories. And I get quality time with my Cruella de Vil of a mother too. Awesome.

On the car ride from the airport to my dad's house, Nia holds my hand the entire time in an attempt to cool my nerves. It doesn't help much. Actually, it doesn't help at all. But I'm good at pretending that I'm fine, if my reasons for not being fine include my dad.

I also noticed that the entire time, Mason and Bryson have been trying to keep Noah calm with banter and the weird things that boys talk about all the time. But I know it's not working. Noah knows more about my dad and I than anyone probably ever will, and so it will obviously take a lot more than some bromance to calm him down.

As the car stops outside the gated compound, Nia squeezes my now sweaty hand and gives me a small smile which I fail to return. Moments before the gate opens, Noah turns to face me and we stare at each other silently for a moment. Only he knows how much it hurts to be here, and it's written all over his face.

"Damn Brooklyn, your dad's a fucking baller." Mason says in awe and I actually find myself laughing a bit at his statement.

I let out a nervous sigh as the car approaches the house. I keep my head facing down and my eyes shut, trying to prepare myself mentally.

"I'm here Ki." Nia whispers to me and I squeeze her hand gently.

When we step out of the car, I'm happy that both my parents are nowhere to be seen. It's just our butler Gerald that I see approaching the car with a humble smile on his face. When he spots me, his smile only grows and I'm more than happy to return the smile.

"Welcome back home Ms Brooklyn." He greets.

Narrowing my eyes at him, I correct him. "Kiana. And nice to see you too."

"I'll forever stick to Ms Brooklyn." He laughs lightly before turning his attention to the others. "You are all welcome. Sam and I will take your bags to your rooms, make yourselves at home."

"Gerald is that how you greet an old friend?" Noah says moving towards him with a grin.

"Hello Noah." Gerald laughs pulling Noah into a hug.

I smile at the embrace. With Noah and Nia being constants at our house, Gerald got pretty accustomed to them and them to him.

"Now, where's Nia?" Gerald asks and she makes her way to hug him too. "Has Noah been treating you well?" He asks.

"Just the usual bogus treatment, nothing special." Nia jokes, earning a small punch on the arm from Noah.

Shortly after, Sam–the driver, and Gerald grab some of the bags and we follow them into the house, carrying some ourselves too.

Noah and I are the last to walk in, and we stop at the front door, soaking it all in.

In front of us is the staircase that leads to the first floor where all the bedrooms, apart from the master bedroom are found. When I look to my right, I see that the living room still has the same beige walls with family pictures hanging from them. Pictures where we all pretended to be a happy family.

"Feels strange being back here huh?" He asks quietly.

I nod my head as I look around.

"But I'm glad you're not doing this alone." He smiles softly at me.

"Yeah, me too." I smile back before beginning to climb the stairs, Noah just behind me.

Soon enough, everyone's gotten their bags in their rooms but we all end up sitting together in the room that Mason will be staying in, everyone enjoying the great escapism. Everyone but me. My head is on Noah's lap and I'm hoping that I can fall asleep and enjoy like twelve hours of sleep. But I know I won't get that. Soon enough my dad will be out of his meeting and my mom will be home and we'llhave to unfortunately go greet them. Just thinking about that is making me nauseous.