Our indelible pasts|✔

fourteen - bryson

IT'S BEEN THREE days and still there's been no improvement in Ms Collins'–Dylan's mom–condition. I upheld my promise to Sandra by being at the hospital every day. I've gotten used to sleeping on the uncomfortable grey chairs in the waiting area. Sandra sometimes joins me when she wants to give Dylan some alone time with his mom, helping me forget how hard the metal chairs are.

I actually even met Dylan who thanked me for being here with Sandra. I had to put aside the jealous, protective boyfriend because now is obviously not the right time for it. But I'm not going to lie, it was a bit comforting to know that I'm both bigger and taller than him.

He's a nice guy though, from what I've observed over the past few days. I've been bringing the four of them food each day, sometimes fast food, other times something from the apartment, and each day it's been a struggle to get Dylan to eat anything I bring without him begging me to let him pay me back. But he ate. Eventually. Him still being very insistent on not wanting me to "waste" my money, dinner has been his treat, with me handling breakfast and lunch.

I didn't mind bringing the food especially since Ms Collins decided she didn't want the treatment anymore. We all knew what this meant. I figured that this would be the best way for me to make her last days as enjoyable as possible.

I spot both Sandra and Dylan approaching me and I get up, walking towards them.

"My mom wants to meet you." Dylan says to me.

"Right now?" I ask, shocked.

"Yeah. She just woke up and that was one of the first things she asked for." Sandra smiles at me, her hand brushing against mine.

I agree to see her, touched by her request and walk hand in hand with Sandra as we follow Dylan to her ward.

"Mom, this is Bryson." Dylan introduces me when we reach her.

Nervously, I look over at her. The tubes attached to her frail body are so many that it looks like she's tangled up in veins, and her skin...it's so...pale. But regardless of the state of her body, her blue eyes bore into my darker ones, glowing as bright as the sea with a smile to match.

"So, this is the mystery boy that made me that delicious chicken curry yesterday." She grins at me.

I smile back. "That would be me. Nice to meet you Ms Collins."

"Oh, come here." She motions for me to come closer, arms open. Her feeble hands engulf me in a warm hug which I gladly return. "And please, call me Rebecca."

"Okay, Rebecca." I chuckle as we separate.

"I hear you're also the same boy that stole my little Sandra's heart." She says, the grin still on her face.

"I wouldn't say I stole it." I smile at Sandra.

Sandra laughs and mumbles quietly enough for just me to hear, "Oh you did."

I look back at Ms Collins who's smiling at us. "I wanted to say thank you. I've loved the food. A lot better than the filthy hospital food they serve here." She laughs.

"It was my pleasure, Ms Collins."

"Ah ah." She points a thin finger at me and I smile sheepishly, already knowing what she'll say. "I told you to call me Rebecca."

The three of us stay with her for a couple more hours, talking and laughing. It's so nice to see her smile and laugh the whole time, despite the situation. I really admire her for that. Especially because the laughs sounded so genuine, even between the heavy coughs. She was really happy. I don't know if I would ever be that strong.

Soon enough, Rebecca was exhausted and fell asleep. Sandra, Dylan and I quietly sat there, each of us lost in thought.

I find myself really feeling sorry for Dylan. I know all too well what it's like to lose a mother. There's this hole in your heart that can never be filled. There is absolutely nothing that can fill that gaping hole. And considering the fact that he has no other family left, the grieving process is going to be so hard for him. He doesn't deserve this. No one deserves to feel a pain so grave.

A few minutes into her sleep, the vital signs monitor starts to sound different, pulling me out of my head as I quickly look up at it and see that her heart rate is starting to slow down.

"Mom?" Dylan bolts up from his seat. "Mom!" He calls louder.

When he hears no answer, he shouts for help and I rush to the door in search for a doctor or a nurse nearby. I spot one and quickly grab her attention, in panic.

"Something's happening." I breathe heavily. "Something's happening."

I run back in with her and she quickly goes to check on Ms Collins. The doctor, or nurse or whatever the hell she is looks up at the monitor, analysing it. Looking at it, she doesn't look too hopeful.

She looks back at Dylan, pain all over her face. "It's happening. She's..." She trails off, unable to say it.

Sandra who's next to me begins to sob and I immediately pull her into me, hiding her face from the scene. She cries into me and I want nothing more than to take her pain away but I myself am too stunned, my body stiff against her.

"Do something!" Dylan cries. "Please, do something!"

"I can't."

Of course Dylan already knew this, they let him know that with her cancer being too advanced, CPR was not an option for when her heart and lungs would stop working. But he didn't care. I wouldn't either.

"No!"

I close my eyes when the monitor makes the sound no one ever wants to hear, tears escaping my eyes.

"Do something!" Dylan continues crying. "There must be something you can do."

Sandra's sobs only continue, and worsen. "She can't be dead." I hear her whisper, but her voice is far away as an image of my mom flashes through my mind.