Our indelible pasts|✔

sixty seven - kiana

WITH EVERYONE ELSE focused on the movie, I whisper to Noah. "Noah?"

"Yeah?" He whispers back from beside me.

"That day at the café, what was wrong?" I ask the question I've been wanting an answer to from that day.

"I told you guys, I was tired."

"I've seen you tired countless of times and you didn't look tired that day." I push, half hoping Noah's explanation will prove Mason wrong.

"I was just tired Ki. Drop it. Please." Frustration fills Noah's voice and I let out a sigh before attempting to shift my focus back to the movie.

Having watched this movie before, I find it hard to focus on it. Instead, I find myself thinking of the time I finally admitted that I had feelings for Noah.

"Yes!" Kayla yells when the ball frees itself from Noah's grasp, onto the backboard and into the hoop.

"We're so winning this game." I grin.

"If Noah keeps playing the way he's playing, yeah for sure."

"Yeah." I answer as I keep my eyes glued on Noah.

"Wow. You really like him, don't you?"

I quickly turn my head to look at Kayla, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What in the world are you talking about?"

"You liking Noah." She tells me like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I really hope it's not.

"What? You're delusional." I shake my head at her before looking back at the court, rather, at Noah.

"Look at the way you look at him." Kayla nudges me with her shoulder, and I roll my eyes.

"He had the ball that's why I was looking at him." I find myself lying, hoping that Kayla wasn't paying close attention to the game in that moment.

"He didn't have the ball." She says, proving that she was in fact paying attention.

I sigh in defeat, not knowing what to say to get Kayla off my back.

"Plus, you two have been spending so much more time together lately." Kayla drones on. "Alone."

"That does not prove anything." I say as a matter of fact.

"You do know that I can always tell when you're lying, right?"

I let out another sigh of relief. "Okay look, I don't know if I actually do like him."

"Are you sure you don't?"

I look back at Noah. Some of his curly hair is sticking to his sweaty face and making him look way too good for someone drenched in sweat.

This is not good.

"Can you ask me that question when he's not looking the way he's looking right now so that I can say no?" I whine and Kayla laughs.

"How long has this little crush been going on?" An all too happy Kayla asks.

I feel a smile grow on my face as I think back to the time. "I first felt it when we pretended to be a couple so we could get a discount at the movies when they were doing that offer."

"That was literally like a month ago." Kayla's jaw practically hits the floor.

"Don't look at me like that. It was surprisingly really fun to be his pretend girlfriend and it just got me thinking about what it would be like if it wasn't pretend." I admit, hiding my face behind my braids. "And I then I just couldn't stop thinking about it. It's annoying."

"That is high key super cute." Kayla gushes and I roll my eyes at her yet again.

"Yeah, yeah. But it's never going to happen." I say, a sombre look overtaking my giddy expression.

"Why do you think so?"

"I don't want a relationship. I personally just can't handle it." I wouldn't be able to do all the things that girlfriends do with their boyfriends. Simple things like kissing. I don't even fucking hug him. "And besides, I wouldn't want to ruin our friendship."

"I hear you, but you two would make a really cute couple."

"I don't know." I feel myself blushing.

"Oh, but I do." Kayla says at the exact moment Noah and I lock eyes for a few seconds, my breath halting. "I saw that! I fucking saw that!" Kayla squeals from beside the moment he looks away.

"Shut up." I gently push her, with a small smile on her face.

"You might not want a relationship right now, but when you're finally ready, I know it'll be him that you go for. Watch me manifest it." Kayla is so happy I bet if I looked hard enough, rainbows, and rays of sunshine would be spewing out of her.

"Stop it. We have a game to watch." I wave her off.

"Oh, right. I forgot I'm distracting you from watching lover boy." She teases and I gently pinch her forearm as an attempt to shut her up.

"I hate you." I say with a smile on my face.

"Ki, she's dying. Why in the world are you smiling?" Noah asks from beside me, bringing me back to reality.

"Oh. No, I was thinking about something else." I say as I struggle to wipe the smile off my face.

"What were you thinking about?" He asks and my eyes widen in shock, but I quickly recollect myself.

"A conversation I had with Kayla."

"What was it about?"

What is with the questions buddy?

"Why did we choose a sad movie?" Kimberly thankfully grabs our attention as she asks in frustration, tears falling down her face.

I laugh. "I told y'all it was sad."

"You didn't tell us it would be this sad." Ashley whines and Mason hands her a box of tissues from the coffee table.

"I guess you didn't hear me when I said that I bawled my eyes out." I say, grateful for more distractions from my conversation with Noah.

"You cry in every movie." Noah teases.

"I do not." I roll my eyes at him, knowing he just said the truth.

"You're such a bad liar sometimes." He chuckles before turning back to the movie.

I look across the room to see Nia smiling at the both of us, and I can already tell what she's thinking. And I know what she's thinking is wrong despite the fact that I just went down that particular lane in my memory.