"The Storm In Our Souls"//FILLIE

Chapter 30.- "When a man loves a woman"

(Please don't hold back in the comments, I love knowing every thought and emotion you experience as you read)

"If butterflies can use their wings to turn the wind to hurricanes

You and I can break the chains, it takes a day to start a tiny riot

Stop being so goddamn quietGot a spark in your heart so strike itCrush your way up hereTurn the pouring rain to a tidal waveAnd fight itGot something inside, don't hide itLike dynamite ignitingCrush your way up hereTurn the pouring rain to the waveOf a tiny riot"

Song.- Tiny Riot by Sam Ryder

FINN POV

This day would be transcendental for everyone's life, something told me since the first ray of sunlight came through the window.

After Noah left I only got to sleep for a couple of hours, I've been staring at this fucking ceiling until my cell phone alarm went off.

There are days that define the direction of your life, days that you know will make a difference, days that you know will draw a line between before and after ... in my life I have had several of those days.

The first was when I was just a kid ...

After the first beating my father gave me, the first time he made it clear that he would control every aspect of my life, I knew I had to ask for help, I tried, I really tried but I couldn't, it was as if something inside me prevented it, an invisible and dark force closed my throat and planted in the back of my mind the idea that this was something that I had to carry in silence for the rest of my life, as if my story had been written and I had to stick to the role that has been assigned to me ... that day, the walls began to be built and since then they only grew more and more.

The second day was when I met Millie ...

After years she showed me the light, after years of drowning I was able to emerge from the deep darkness and breathe ... I will never forget the flash of relief and warmth that I felt that day, maybe I had been naive but I really believed that I could stay on the surface forever, floating by her side was easy, just letting myself be carried away knowing that her hand would hold me... my life had been full of difficulties, but falling in love with her, falling completely surrendered to all that she is ...it was the easiest thing in my life.

The third was the death of my father ...

That day that would turn into a snowball that would end up crushing me, which I now know was a confusion, it had long been a deep sense of guilt that I secretly carried ... my life was equivalent to accumulating dynamite near a campfire, day after day the risk of an explosion was latent, the day my father died a story began to be written with a bad ending, an ending that I could have stopped but didn't have the ability to.

The fourth day was the day of the accident ...

The day everything exploded, the day I found that I hadn't been wrong about myself, I'm a fucking storm that would one day sweep away everything ... That damn day I lost my son, I lost him before I knew of his existence, before I could make him feel loved and I lost the woman I love, I lost her I lost her while I was still close to her, while I could still see her and even touch her, I lost her in the worst way you can lose someone, when you feel how each part of them slides like water between your fingers, water that you try to hold with your hands but the more you press your fists the faster they fade and there is nothing you can do about it.