"The Storm In Our Souls"//FILLIE

Chapter 39.- "The storm is over"

"How was I to know?
It's a crazy thing
I showed you my hand
And you still let me win
And who was I to say
That this was meant to be?
The road that was broken
Brought us together

And I know you could fall for a thousand kings
And hearts that would give you a diamond ring
When I fold, you see the best in me
The joker and the queen"

Song: The joker and the queen by Ed Sheeran & Taylor Swift

Finn (POV)

Breathe with me Finn...focus on your breathing...

At this point I can't even remember how I managed to get into the right state of relaxation for the regression, I never thought I'd be able to... I mean, me? Finn Wolfhard, relaxed?

Allow everything to disappear except my voice....you are safe Finn, allow yourself to go surrender to this total state of peace...

Now that I think about it, maybe what made it possible is this great need that my body and mind had to rest, to be able to stop for a second... Silence feels good after listening to so much noise, noise in my head, noise in my heart.

What do you see? Describe it for me.

What do I see?...I don't think any answer could really describe all that I can see...I see it all...I finally see it all.

Stage after stage of my life, David forces me to relive every moment, I see the pain of my youth, the pain of my childhood, I see the moment in which it all began and although my father is the trigger for the darkness that defined every decision in my life, he was not the origin...he was not the true origin of much of the pain that haunted each of my days .

"Tell me what do you see?....Tell me how you see yourself?"

"I am a kid"

"Go further back"

"I'm just...I'm just a baby"

"Go further back Finn, I need you to go even further back"

My body is light, I am energy, I am not a physical body, I am part of everything and that everything is part of me.

I see myself occupying other bodies, inhabiting other places, I see myself being other people, everything seems so different from the life I'm used to but at the same time everything is so familiar... I've been here before, in each of the places that David has made me visit.

"Concentrate Finn...keep looking, you're here for a reason...keep looking"

David's voice reminded me of my initial purpose, I'm looking for something...I'm looking for the central point that unites me with Millie that intertwines our lives with the lives of Michael and Eleonor.

"Let yourself go...let your heart guide you to the right moment"

I don't know the exact moment when I achieved it, I just know that at one point I knew, I knew I had found the answers, I knew I had connected with Michael, maybe it was for a second or it was for years but I could see the content of his story, the essence of his love and the pain that was in his soul, that is where everything that tormented me resides.... it was his pain that managed to transcend to impact my soul, which in the end is his too.

I can feel the force that Eleonor represents in his life, she is his anchor, the only one that keeps him afloat, we are not that different, we are not that different...Millie is the center of my fucking universe, the only thing that gives meaning to my existence in this life and for what I now confirm...in any other.