"The Storm In Our Souls"//FILLIE

Chapter 36.- "I can be her"

"I don't know what I'd do without you
Your words are like a whisper, come through
As long as you're with me here tonight
I'm good

Can you be my nightingale?
Feel so close
I know you're there

Oh, oh, oh nightingale
Sing to me, I know you're there
'Cause, baby, you're my sanity
You bring me peace
Sing me to sleep
Say you'll be my nightingale"

Song: "Nightingale" by Demi Lovato

NOAH'S (POV)

Hearing about someone having a nervous breakdown is not the same as witnessing it ... you think you will know what to do, you think you will know what to say but nothing prepares you to see a person you love lose the battle against their own mind.

First Millie, the first blow was seeing her break in front of our eyes, but no matter how much we have all suffered, our pain will never compare with my brother's, There is no comparison because he is not only the person who loves her the most in the world but in this story he proclaimed himself the sole and indisputable culprit for everything bad that has happened to Millie.

Through every fight, through every attempt he made to get her back, to help her out of this, I could see how he left every ounce of his sanity trying to get hers back, I wondered how much he would take before he broke too, I was terrified that this was too much for him at some point. Unfortunately that breaking point came ... I suspected it since I saw him walk away from us a moment ago at the lake and I checked it when the sound of something hitting the ground made me run to his room and find him reduced to nothing, His lanky but strong body is now nothing more than a mass on the ground, lying there in a fetal position, his arms hugging his legs pressing his knees against his chest as his attempts to breathe are so agonizing that I almost feel my lungs begin to fail too.

He's still dressed in the same soaked clothes, I can see a little redness on the skin where the snake bite is.

He is shaking and completely pale.

His face is a mixture of tears and sweat.

His mouth lets out nonsensical words, while his body shakes victim of crying and lack of oxygen.

This is horrible, the most horrible thing I have ever seen, my heart breaks and my brain can't act in response... What am I supposed to do?

Is this a panic attack? Are they effects of the poison?

"FINN! Fuck... breathe... just... please... "

I try in vain to hold him off the ground but he resists my touch.

"Stop... I can't... I can't... breathe...."

"Noah ... what's wrong?" Millie's fearful voice calls to me from the door, I asked her to stay outside but I should have known she wouldn't obey me. "Is this because of the snake? Is it because of the water? ... is it ..."

"Get her out of here Noah ... .. Fuck Noah ... just ...". Finn's words are interrupted by what appears to be another severe pain in his chest, causing him to huddle further on the floor. "Go away... .just....I need it to stop... everything to stop..."

Finn's voice becomes increasingly agitated and his words less understandable, I see how his gaze is a bit unfocused ... despite his refusal to be touched I put the back of my hand against his forehead.

"Fuck ... He's burning ...".

Millie looks at me worriedly as if waiting for me to tell her what to do, but the truth is that I have no fucking idea, I know that the poison although it is not dangerous, causes strong symptoms such as fever and hallucinations, but I do not know what the consequences are now that it is fused with one of his panic attacks.