Twilight | ATEEZ

Chapter Forty-One (FINALE)

While Seonghwa stays back to talk with Mingi, Yunho enters the viewing room, immediately seeing a large red mahogany casket with flowers Yunho can't distinguish on top of the bottom part of the lid. He can't see into the casket yet, but he's been trying the past two weeks to prepare himself for what he's about to see.

In some ways, Yunho is happy to be able to have the opportunity to see San one last time as he would normally be. No blood. No dirt. No insects crawling all over his body, eating away at the remaining fabric of his clothing he'd been wearing that day he went to confront Minhee. No colorless skin that's been affected by the elements, purpling his lips and darkening his closed eyelids.

However... Yunho doesn't know if he will be able to handle seeing San so perfect after witnessing the cruelty of being left outside like that. Just knowing how he was might cause him too big of a shock when he sees San looking so full of life when he's anything but.

As much preparing Yunho has tried to do, with the help of Seonghwa and his parents, nothing would ever fully prepare him for this.

Nothing.

Yunho takes cautious steps up to the casket, following Jongho with his mother and Wooyoung beside them. He tries his best to block out the loud sobbing and wailing echoing through the room as his friends walk away from the casket to sit down.

Yunho clenches his fists and takes a deep breath as he makes slow progress of actually getting up to San's forever home. Once he makes it close enough to be able to see in, he closes his eyes until the tops of his thighs brush against the hardwood of the casket.

You can do it...

It's just Sannie, you can look at him.

God, please give me strength.

One...

Two...

Three...

Yunho opens his eyes after his internal countdown and sees his best friend lying there.

Didn't everyone say he was supposed to look like he was sleeping...?

Yunho's eyes instantly fill up with tears and he clasps a hand over his mouth in an attempt to muffle any sounds that are threatening to escape him. He grasps onto the edge of the casket with his other hand to maintain his balance as his knees start to feel weak and want to buckle beneath him. He lowers himself down, pressing his forehead into the wood as he cries.

"D-Dear God, please t-take care of San in Heaven. I-I trust that he will be safe and won't feel any..." Yunho's voice squeaks as he tries to contain his emotions, "a-any more pain..." He quietly ends, trying to stand back up properly and failing until he feels an arm come around his waist.

Soft sniffing comes from beside him and Yunho looks to see Jongho's blotchy tear-stained face comforting him with his support. They needn't say words, both boys sharing a knowing familiarity of being there for one another.

Yunho looks back at San, thankful to Jongho for holding him up when he was about to go down. Yunho shakily reaches out and brushes the hair out from San's face, "H-He never liked it when it would fall into his eyes," Yunho whispers, more tears starting to come.

Yunho takes a deep breath, wiping his nose, trying to keep himself together as much as he can, "C-Can we sit?" His voice is barely audible.