Starstruck ✧ (Cherry Valance x reader)

13.

I pin my hair up ready for another night at Cabaret Alcove. Knowing that Derek is being taken care of at Mandi's house relieves my stress a little as I get ready in the dressing room. The door swings open and Cherry enters with that radiant glow of hers. "Hey baby" I greet her but immediately I can tell something is wrong by the way she doesn't smile back. "Are you okay?"

"We need to talk," she tells me. I look at the clock and notice we have a bit of time before the show starts as she takes a seat. "I've never been with a girl before. It's not that I don't like you but...I'm not sure if we can be together" her words hit like a train. "You're ashamed of me?" I reply. "No! Not you, I just see the way people stare at us and I've heard stories about what happens to gay people" she whispers as if someone was listening.

"Ohh you don't want people to know you're gay huh? What about me? Am I too gay for you?" I raise my voice, watching her face flush red. "You're taking this the wrong way-" she begins but I cut her off. "No no, I get it. You just wanted to make me fall for you and just when things get good you don't wanna be seen with me because I'm a lesbian!" I argue. "Well, I don't see you telling people you're gay!" She argues back.

I get right up into her face. "You listen to me, you don't know what the hell I've been through. I fell for you the same way a man could, I loved you the same fucking way a male could because we are no different to straight people! But you know what Sherri screw you. Go be ashamed of someone else because I love myself."

I storm out of the room leaving her hanging. All throughout the performance, I wear a fake smile because that's show business baby. I can see Cherry throwing me anxious glances but I don't even give her my time or energy. I'm so pissed off by everything that I end up leaving the club early which is something I never do. I stroll along the New York streets, wondering if people can read me well.

The apartment is quiet when I get back. I don't even bother to eat and head into my room, flopping down on the bed. I have so much pent up anger in me that I start to punch the shit out of my pillow, pretending it's the face of an enemy. It gets me so riled up that I miss in a blur and punch the headboard. "FUCK!" I cry out and draw my throbbing hand back. As the minutes pass it swells a little, a nasty bugging bruise appearing. "Great" I mutter as the front door opens and closes.

"Y/n?"

I don't answer.

Cherry appears in the bedroom and her eyes widen when she sees my hand. "What happened?!" She demands. I still don't answer. With a small sigh, she leaves the room and reappears with a bag of frozen peas. I watch as she sits down and holds it against my imperfect skin as I whimper. "I'm sorry for earlier, I didna mean to hurt you. I'm just scared" she says quietly and I start to feel a little bad.

"I'm scared every day"

She looks at me sadly and I close my eyes, thinking about my past. I suddenly feel soft lips attach to mine, I want to resist but I sink in as always. She has a spell over me. Cherry moves over to straddle me but before it can get heated I turn my face away. "Maybe another night..."