Falling Unexpectedly [Completed]

12: Problem Solver

The week passed and dad stayed sober for the entire week. I didn't really think he would, but he never went out unless it was work and came home as sober as he could be.

I was distancing myself from him and Blake again. I tried not making it obvious but since dad overlooks me anyways, he didn't think much of it.

Blake knew something was going on but I ignored her and told her not to bother me. I didn't want to talk to either of them cause my emotions were getting bad once again.

Sometimes I'm fine and can smile through all the pain that I have deep inside, act like I'm ok when I'm on the verge of breaking down.

But I can't control it for very long.

The emotions..

The guilt..

The memories..

My life is one big messed up world that I don't know what to do anymore.

I want to scream as loud as I can until I can't anymore

I don't want to feel anything.

I want to be completely numb to everything around me.

My mind was in a dark place at the moment and the last time it was there..

When my mom passed.

I shut myself out to the world for a while and gave everyone the silent treatment.

I told my friends that I was ok when I wasn't and of course they didn't believe me but I needed space.

A lot of space.

Blake tried talking to me a few times but I slammed the door in her face.

Dad was trying to talking to me one night as I was walking into the kitchen. He asked how I was doing and if I was doing better in school.

I nodded and left it as that.

I honestly felt how I was when my mom passed and I knew it took months for me to cope with everything.

It was terrible.

I was back on the trouble side and Miss Allen was not having it.

"Reagan, you have detention."

Shrugging, I doodled on my desk and ignored her. I haven't turned in any assignments and it was getting bad.

I've been missing my mom so much that my world has crumpled around me and I didn't even care.

As I was in class, I threw a paper ball at someone then Miss Allen caught me. She told me this was a warning but I didn't care as I threw another one and got detention.

When class ended, I stayed in the back and rested my chin on my folded arms. I stared at the front of the classroom as Miss Allen was telling everyone bye before looking over at me.

"What am I going to do with you, Reagan?"

I shrugged but didn't say anything. I kept my eyes on her as she was shaking her head and talking, but I couldn't hear anything she was saying.

Looking down, I sighed before staring at nothing before hearing my name being called. I look up at Miss Allen as she was staring at me. "Ma'am?"

"I said.. why are you acting up again?"

"I don't know."

"You do know."

"I really don't."

She looks at me before sighing and standing up. I watch as she walks in front of her desk before leaning on it, crossing her arms and looking at me. "Reagan.. you tend to act up every few weeks and it's a pattern."