Falling Unexpectedly [Completed]

9: Different

Exposed Emotions by 5ive^

When I left, I heard Blake ask where I was going as I was walking out the door. I didn't answer her as I shut the door and left.

I was in a pissed off state of mind with dad right now and I needed to leave. I didn't want to be there at the moment with him still drunk and acting stupid.

How could he say that shit?

Does he not still have pictures of mom?

When someone you love passes, you still keep their things cause it's sentimental. I don't get why he would even ask why it's still there after she passed.

It makes me mad sometimes when he acts like he doesn't care that she passed.

So I had to leave.

For the sake of my health.

My anger gets to me sometimes and it's hard to control when it's all fired up.

Not many places to go in this town, but I drove around until I was far away from my house. I didn't want to be near it or even close to it cause that gave me an opportunity to go back.

The shit I could say to my father... I swear.

All this built up emotions just ready to come out at any second and I would lash out on his personally.

The shit I had to deal with for the last five years is unbearable.

He broke my trust in him.

He made me the bad guy.

He acts like he doesn't care anymore ever since mom passed.

But he was never like this when she was still here. I remember how full of life, happy he was. He didn't overlook me and we did so many things together.

I actually had a dad.

Now I don't.

After mom passed, he changed. He went out drinking a few times and came back to apologize for doing so. I remember how he would cry over mom but it only lasted for a month.

After a month, he was completely different.

It was as if mom didn't ever pass cause he went on with his day and never cried or showed any emotion.

Then six months later, he brought home Blake. He introduced us and said this was his girlfriend that he's been seeing for a while and they're in love.

Moved on as quickly as he could.

Without once missing mom.

And I'm the bad guy every time I try to bring her up.

He wants nothing to do with the memories I try and talk to him about, even though I don't want to remember them cause of how emotional it is but I try to remind him that mom was once alive.

And our lives were perfect.

Now I don't have a family.

I have a shitty father and a woman who just lives there.

It's stupid.

I wish mom never passed.

The pain and guilt I feel every time I think of her is unbearable. I wish I could remind and stay with her as long as I could and never leave her side.

Never did I think she was sick.

She never acted sick.

Never showed any signs.