Falling Unexpectedly [Completed]

35: Numb

I Don't Feel Anymore by Gremlin^

After I left, I stayed out for a while until it was dark. I went back home around nine, not knowing what was waiting for me but knew that it was something I had to face.

Even if I didn't want to.

There was too much to deal with and with it all happening at once, it felt like I was suffocating.

I couldn't breathe.

It's been that way for five years now.

Everything was closing in around me and I was trapped in a room that had no escape.

That's how I felt.

Staying and facing my problems was sometimes hard to do cause I was constantly in a battle of surviving to get out.

The walls were always closing in around me.

I was dealing with everything that my life was throwin at me and it was too much.

I guess that's why I always had a thing for leaving.

It was a sense of freedom.

Something I longed for.

I wanted nothing but freedom in my life but never got it.

Always feeling trapped in a house that I hated cause mom wasn't there anymore. I was grieving the loss of her for so long and being surrounded by memories was hard.

Dad wasn't making anything better cause he was acting like an asshole. I admit that he tried being better but he broke so many promises and I had no faith in him.

It was like that throughout the last five years and I didn't believe anything he said.

Then I started feeling something towards Blake.

I never wanted to.

I didn't plan on falling for her but it happened and there's times where I regret it.

Regretting it every time she would come into my room and cry to me about not feeling the same for my dad anymore. I knew she was heartbroken over it cause it was hard for all of us at that moment.

Not having feelings for someone anymore that you were in love with for five years.

It's something hard to deal with and the outcome is never a good thing.

I never wanted to like Blake other than my dad's girlfriend.

So that's another fucked up part of my life.

I wasn't even sure what was waiting for me behind the door I was standing in front of.

Dad's truck was here.

Blake's car was here.

And I was here.

Taking a breath, I walked in then shut the door behind me. I couldn't hear anything but the sound of my heart beating in my chest and it was definitely noticeable.

When I walked through the hall, I past the kitchen and looked inside but didn't see anyone. I walked to the living room before stopping when I saw dad and Blake sitting on the couch.

I saw Blake lean her head up and I moved behind the wall as quick as I could. I leaned my back against the wall before looking at the wall across from me.

"I want her back here."

"She's not answering the calls." I heard Blake say.

It was silent for a moment as I kept staring at the wall.