Connecting Threads (Book 2 of KOV series #2)

II: The Feeling

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Psyche Valentine Collins

I rarely open up to the people around me. I don't like to feel vulnerable, miserable nor be misunderstood by anyone. But now and then, I get to talk to somebody and something about them resonates with me. Whether he or she is not a close friend of mine or a close friend, in their presence, I feel a certain safety and a rare serenity.

We all have that one person, whether it's a month from now or ten years from now, we'd go back to. Cause at the end of the day, they're the one who's arms always felt the most like home.

For me, it's Eros. I always thought I was hard to love until he made it seem so easy. May mga Reporters na nag-tatanong sa'kin kung paano ko ba raw ilalarawan ang sarili ko, ang palagi kong sagot sa kanila? I'm a puzzle-like person. I have a lot of mazes and madness in my mind.

I admit that I'm not a perfect person because after all, human beings are made with curves, edges, flaws and imperfection. But despite the fact that I'm not a perfect person, I was loved by a perfect man. Every time I look at him, I realized what love is.

Everything that happened during these past few years, I knew that it did took place for a reason. But most of the time, I wish I knew what the reason was. This fragile heart of mine tends to look for the answers but in the end, all I could find was another piece of unfit puzzle. No matter how I tried, it won't fit because it's not in the right place from the very beginning.

All of us deserves happiness. I mean, real happiness; true happiness. The kind of happiness that makes our hearts fill with warthm. And we deserve to feel what it feels like to be okay. To feel like the world isn't against us. To feel like we aren't constantly treading water just to keep us from drowing. More than anything, we deserve to be okay.

We can rise up from anything. We can completely recreate ourselves. Nothing is permanent. We're not stuck. We have our own choices. We can think about some new thoughts. We can always learn something new. We can create new habits. All that matters is that we decided today and never look back.

Right now, I can't focus on anything at all. My mind couldn't help but think about him. I've been like this for as long as I can remember, why? It's because I haven't seen Eros. I think it has been two or three days, he's not visiting the office. In other words, hindi siya pumapasok!! And it's bugging me so bad!!

Hindi ko rin alam kung nasaan siya, he just clearly told me that he'll be gone for a week or longer than that. Pakiramdam ko ay ang tagal matapos ng oras kapag hindi ko siya nakikita o kapag wala siya dito pero kapag kasama ko naman siya? Mas mabilis pa sa takbo ng sports car ang oras.

I don't know what's more tragic, is it the fact that I just keep looking for him wherever I go or that he was never there??

"Psyche? Let's go, we still have to visit our Vixxiens!". Nagulat ako dahil biglang nag-aya si Avianna sa'kin.

Kasalukuyan akong nandito sa St. Valentine, to be exact? I'm in the library with Avianna. Kami lang ang mag-kasama ngayon dahil wala sina Trinity at Riane. Where are they? Si Trinity ay may pinuntahang importanteng lakad while Riane is not here either dahil may Business Meeting siya sa Maynila.

"Huh? Okay, let's go". Tipid kong sagot sa kaniya.

Nag-sisimula na rin siyang mag-lakad katulad ko pero bigla naman siyang tumigil, matapos niyang manatili sa kinatatayuan niya ay humarap siya sa direksyon ko. What's her problem now? Akala ko ba ay bibisitahin pa namin 'yung mga members ng Valley Vixxiens dahil iyon ang pangako namin?