Connecting Threads (Book 2 of KOV series #2)

II: Something That We Don't Understand

*2 years later...

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Psyche Valentine Collins

Life is all about change. Sometimes it's painful, sometimes it's beautiful but most of the time, it's both. We cannot become what we want by remaining what we are. It's time to stop focusing on being stuck or worrying what others will think about your next move. And finally, follow what's calling to you heart and soul. Yourself is the only person that matters.

Sometimes, you have to die a few times before you can really live.

And I guess, that's what happened to me. Two years had already passed by but I'm still chained to my past, I don't know what to do with it so I'm just letting everything go with the flow. If it will happen then it will, it's not like I can do something to make it stop or to make it go away in an instant.

I can't go back and change the beginning but I can start where I am and change the ending. That's what I'm planning to do since time is a bitch, I can't turn it backwards. And besides, if I want to fly then I have to give up what weighs me down.

Eros never renewed the contract, he literally let me go. He told me that I don't have any reasons to stay and besides, I still don't get along with Ms. Viloria. Another thing is that he's real Secretary had already recovered. She's back to her normal state so it means she can do the work alone, he doesn't need me to help her either. Yeah, it hurts. But I can't do anything.

After I left the company, he and I never saw each other again. Even if we're studying in the same school and we have the same circle of friends, as in never again. I actually want to see him often but it's not like I can tell him to come and see me. We're not in a relationship and that fact alone is always making me feel so miserable. Why am I missing him? He's not even mine.

I misunderstood his words and actions, akala ko ay gusto niya pang ayusin ang relasyon namin pero hindi naman pala. I was wrong, sobrang mali pero kahit ganon ang nang yari? I still couldn't hate him. Hindi ko magawang magalit o mainis sa kaniya, sa halip? Magagalit ako sa sarili ko.

Noon, sa tuwing mag-kasama kami ay palagi siyang sweet tapos may mga panahon pa na sasabihin niyang mahal niya ako pero bakit parang ayaw niya akong bumalik sa buhay niya? Why does it feel like I'm the only one who's forcing us to go back to the way we were before that break-up took place?

Paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi na mahal niya pa rin ako, pero bakit pakiramdam ko ay ako na lang ang nag-mamahal?? Ganon ba talaga 'yon? If so, it's unfair!! Nasasaktan din ako, hindi naman ako robot o isang uri ng teknolohiya na walang pakiramdam pero gumagana at napapakinabangan. I'm a human being and I can feel just like everybody else.

If he doesn't really love me anymore then he should've said so.

Matagal na niya sanang ginawa ang bagay na 'yon kaysa paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi na mahal niya pa rin ako pero iba naman ang ipinaparamdam niya sa'kin. Mahirap bang maging totoo sa isang tao o sa sarili mong nararamdaman? But it's your true feelings! You can deny it but you can't cheat on it.

Sa loob ng dalawang taon, marami na muli ang nang yari. Hindi talaga maiiwasan ang mga pag-babago at ganon din ang mga kaganapang hindi inaasahan pero kahit mayroong ganon sa buhay namin, masaya pa rin naman kami. Tulad nga nang sinabi ko, kailangan lang talaga namin hayaan ang mga nang yayari sa paligid dahil wala rin naman kaming magagawa.