A Little Variety

Wednesday PM.

I'm home from work and waiting for Matt to come over. He sent me one text this morning so I'm hoping that our plan is still the same.

"Hey Matt, are you still coming here?"
"On my way now."

I smile to myself. I'm really glad that he's making the trip here. I've lived here for half the year and he's only been here once.

"Okay, can't wait to see you."

I hear a knock on my door and run to get it.

"Hey," Matt says. He seems like he's in a bad mood.
"Hey, good to see you." I am trying really hard to sound chipper, but his mood is knocking me off my guard.

We walk inside my apartment. Immediately I am nervous that he can tell what I've done. We haven't really talked. My heart starts pounding.

"Are you okay?" I ask, wanting to break the silence.
"I'm fine."
"You don't seem fine." I feel like we are getting into a fight and he just got here.
"It just took me forever to get here, and then it was hard to find parking. It just makes so much more sense for you to come to me. You always make me come to your place and I really hate it."

I hold back my tongue. I do not want to fight. But, I really can count the amount of times he's been here on one hand.

"I'm sorry. I'll come to you next time," I say to keep the peace.
"Okay. Thank you."

He seems calmer, which calms me. But it still feels unfair.

We walk into my room, and I immediately feel woozy. Just hours ago, I was in here with someone else. Someone who was not him. What if he finds out? What if he knows? He's pretty observant and what if something is out of place. My mind is racing.

He looks over at me now. "Are you okay? You seem weird."
He's right. I am being weird. "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Fine? You tell me that whenever you say that, you're not fine," he jokes.
I joke back. "Yes, I am actually fine. Okay. Peachy."

He pulls me into a hug, and it feels good. He was always a great hugger. But unfortunately, it doesn't beat the hug I got the other night.

"So, what do you feel like doing?" he looks at me.
"Hmmm, I don't know. What do you want to do?"
"I can think of a few things," he says slyly.

I almost pass out. I haven't even had time to clean my sheets. We can't do that. I can't do that. No way.

"Matt!" I pull away from him.
"What?" he scowls at me. "Fine, fine. But you owe me."
"Fine." I just know I can't go through with it here. Not now.
"Okay again, so what do we do?" he asks.
"Hungry?"
"Always. Hey, let's go to that place you wanted to take me to. I'm in the mood for noodles."

I stop. I had wanted to take him there, but I just went there the yesterday. And not with Matt. I want to take Matt there, but I didn't think he'd ever want to go. And now he does. But I've already been there. I can't go there with him. But then he'll be suspicious if I say no. What do I do?

"Um, yeah. Sure. That sounds great."
"You don't seem excited like you did the other day," he says with a suspicious look.
I try my best to remain calm, but it's proving very hard. "I am. I really want to take you there."
"Great. Let's go. Do I have to drive?"
"No Matt. We don't have to drive everywhere. We can walk. It's only 10 minutes."

As active as a guy Matt is, he doesn't really like taking walks. And walking is really the only active activity I like doing. We are opposites in so many things. But people always say opposites attract.

We walk to the restaurant and as excited as I am, I am also really nervous. What if we have the same waitress? What if she remembers me? Will she say anything about being here with someone else? I'm being crazy. Even if it is the same waitress, she would have no idea. We do live in a huge city where you really can always be anonymous.