A Little Variety

Friday (Eve).

I had cancelled on Matt this time and instead made weekend plans with Trixie and I vowed to thank Allie for lending her girlfriend to me for an entire weekend.

The three of us were having dinner together on a Friday evening at the Thai place I had gone with both Matt and the guy. Even though I was here with Trixie and Allie, just the environment brought back a whoosh of memories and feelings from the two very distinct nights I had been here.

I was happy to create a new, no drama memory here, as I actually did really love the food, and regardless of my memory connection to it, wanted it to be one of my go-to spots.

I was also happy that both Trixie and Allie were big sharers, so we ordered a whole bunch of different dishes to the table and shared them between the three of us. It also didn't hurt that we ordered a ton of fun tiki drinks along with our meals.

It was nice to have a girls' night after having to deal with so much drama as of late.

We chatted idly while enjoying the spread in front of us. It was nice to see Trixie and Allie together too. I always thought they had such a supportive and wholesome relationship. Something that I yearned for. Seeing them together equally made me pleased and melancholy. Not only did I want to be with someone, but I wanted someone to be good to me like they were to each other.

I must have been frowning, because Trixie places her hand gently on my arm.
"You okay, hun?" she asks, her dark brown eyes full of concern. Allie has the same look on her face.

I try to lighten the mood and smile broadly, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. I am just admiring the both of you and feeling sorry for myself." I chuckle, but I feel anything but lighthearted at the moment.

I see Allie nod at Trixie, and she excuses herself to use the bathroom.

Trixie grabs my hand lovingly, and asks me the same question. This time, I can't hold it together.

"Well, I broke it off with Matt," I say defeatedly.
I can tell she is struggling between smiling and frowning for my sake.
"I'm sorry," she says as solemnly as she can muster.
"No, I know it was the right decision, I think," I mutter. But, like I had thought about before, my defenses are dwindling, and I am so close to being on the verge of reaching out to him and making up.

This was one of the other reasons I was glad I would be with Trixie all weekend. I felt like she would help me to decide what might be best for me and not what was best for the sense of instant gratification that I always craved.

I wipe my eyes, with a bit of a stronger resolve, knowing that not only was Trixie proud of my decision, but that it was probably what was right at this moment.

Allie comes back to the table, and sees that I had been crying. "Are you okay?" she asks kindly, and I nod. Even though we weren't close, Allie really understood me and knew the depth of me and Trixie's relationship. I really was so pleased that they had each other.

After dinner, Allie gives me a big hug and tells me that everything would be alright, and that if I ever needed them, or even Trixie, just to let them know. I hug her back tight. I knew she was a great girlfriend, but she was being incredibly good to me as well, and I really appreciated that.

She gives a hug to Trixie and a quick peck on the lips, and then gets into their car to head home.

Once we wave goodbye and their car turns the corner, Trixie loops her arm through mine, and guides me towards the wine shop that we pass on our way back to my apartment.