A Little Variety

Saturday.

I must have fallen back asleep, because when I wake up next, I am snuggled under my blankets on my bed. I take a deep breath remembering the events from the night before.

I remembered spilling my guts to Trixie not only about my dramatic breakup with Matt, but also about the guy. And then the conversation I had with Matt, and how it ended.

Thinking about it all makes me tired again, and I close my eyes not wanting to actually get up and be a person.

I hear rustling noises coming from the living room and a few minutes later, Trixie pads into my room with a blanket wrapped around her. She crawls onto the foot of my bed and yawns before wiping the sleep off her eyes and nodding at me.

"Good morning," I say as cheerfully as I can muster.
"Grumble, grumble," Trixie responds, once again bringing me back to our childhood. It was her way of saying "I'm too sleepy, and I am also hungry. Feed me before the monster in me comes out."

I laugh, punch her shoulder lightly, and grab my robe from my chair, before heading into the kitchen to make us some breakfast.

I am at the stove cooking, while Trixie takes a quick shower. I am incredibly tempted to look at my phone, but also want to keep all the drama at bay, so I focus on cooking our breakfast. I am glad I have something to do to occupy my mind.

When she gets out, she joins me at the table, a much different person than she was ten minutes prior.
"Mmm," she says, as her eyes go big to the meal in front of her.
"Enjoy," I say with a smile.

We sit and eat our breakfast in relative silence, both of us still trying to wake up.
"Want some coffee?" she asks me, and I nod my head vigorously. I knew I had forgotten something.

She helps herself around the kitchen and quickly makes us two cups of coffee with my tiny Keurig machine.

"So, was I snoring too loud or something?" she asks me, and I look at her confused. Then I remember that I had ended up in my bed, not next to her on the floor like usual.
I shake my head, "No, my back started to ache." The lie comes out easily, and I realize that maybe I can lie to my best friend. I really don't want her to know about my late-night call with Matt, or how it made me feel. Not after the conversation that we had last night in regards to the future.

She seems to believe this, and we continue to talk casually about other things.

But my mind keeps going back to Matt, and how he said he loved me, and how it sounded coming from him.

I knew right then and there that I wanted him back, and wanted to try again. And I knew that this would really put a damper on my weekend with Trixie, because even though I didn't intend on telling her, it was still in my head, and I couldn't get it out of my head that she was be disappointed in me once she found out.