Matt is sleeping post-sex, but I'm wide awake. Our sex has always been pretty good, but after we are done, he turns away from me, looks some stuff up on his phone, and then quickly passes out.
I pull my own phone out to try and pass some time, or numb my brain, but nothing seems to be working. I decide to text him.
"Hey, are you up?"
The response is immediate, and I feel a little giddy.
"I'm up."
"What are you doing?"
"Watching crappy TV and fiddling with the guitar. You? Why are you up? At your man's place?"
"Yeah I am, but he's asleep."
"And you're talking to me?" He sends with a grinning face.
"Yes, I am talking to you. Jerk."
"I'm kidding around. Sorry."
"It's okay. I'm just not used to this."
"Used to what? Talking?"
"Talking to another guy. While I'm with my boyfriend."
"Neither am I."
"Hey! I'm not a guy. Just kidding. Really though?"
"Really. I've never really done this. It's just sometimes I see a future with my girl, but at the same time I don't. We don't talk much."
"Really? How do you do that? That's rough. I like talking."
"I like talking to you."
That definitely made me blush.
"Same."
"Get some sleep. We'll chat later. Can't wait for Tuesday."
Tuesday. Ughhh. I really am thinking I should bail before this goes too far.
"Tuesday. So, um, yeah..."
"Having second thoughts?"
"Kind of. I mean. I don't know."
"Seriously. No sweat. If you're there, cool. If not, I get it. I won't pursue. But I will have all the noodles to myself."
"Okay. I'm sorry."
"For what? You haven't blown me off yet."
"Ha-ha. Very funny. Goodnight."
"Night."
Though the tone was still light at the end of the conversation, his curt tone stings a bit. I think to myself that I hadn't really cared about his responses before, so what has changed between then and now, and I realize that I think I am starting to like him. But, I know that I shouldn't. I'm with Matt, and although it's not exactly what I imagined it to be, he's still my boyfriend and I have to try and make it work. I just wish he would try to make it work with me too. I really feel so lonely.
YOU ARE READING
A Little Variety
عاطفيةI was bored. No that's a lie. I wasn't bored. I was just me. And I was lonely. And it wasn't supposed to mean anything. It really wasn't. But we found each other when we were both lost. A love story that wasn't meant to happen.
