A Little Variety

Thursday PM.

I still haven't heard anything from him. Which I know I shouldn't. I was the one to tell him to go. But, I don't know. I thought maybe he would try and contact me. But, nothing.

I walk off the train and up the stairs to Matt's waiting car.

"Hey!" he says cheerfully.

He's in an awful good mood right now. I feel suspicious. And I don't know why.

"Hey," I respond with less than half his enthusiasm.
"You good?" he asks with genuine concern in his voice.
"Yeah, sorry. It's just been a weird day."
"Weird how?"
"I don't know. I guess I just feel a little out of sorts."
"Nothing some pizza and TV can't fix, amiright?"

I laugh. That might be exactly what I need right now.

We drive back to his place and I drop my stuff in a heap. I put my phone in my bag. I plan to just enjoy this night fully and not have any distractions. I plop down on his couch and stretch my legs out.

"What kind of pizza do you want?" He asks me.
"Ummm, I'm good with whatever. What do you want?"
"Well, I'm starving so let's get one for each of us."

Matt never really liked to share. He always eats so much food, but luckily it never really catches up with him.

"Um, I guess I'll have Mushrooms and Peppers."
"Okay, got it."

We watch TV and wait for our pizzas. This was turning out to be just the type of night I needed.

The doorbell rings, Matt puts his hand out for money for the pizza, and then runs to grab our food. When he comes back, he plops on the couch next to me.

After we've had a couple slices, Matt asks, "Feeling any better?"
"I think so yeah." And I do.
"See, I told you pizza fixes all."
"True. But this is also really nice. I like doing stuff like this with you. Can we do this more often?" I ask with too much hope in my voice.
"I'll try, but you know how crazy my schedule is."

I knew. I definitely knew. "I know. I just like seeing you as much as I can."
"And I see you as much as I can."
"Can it maybe be a little more?"
"I'll try."

I conceded to that, because if I push anymore, I know it would end in a fight, and I just don't have the strength tonight.

"Okay thanks."

We relax the rest of the evening.

When Matt gets up to use the bathroom, I check my phone. It still remains blank. I feel a twinge of sadness, but I was having the kind of night I wanted. I don't want to dwell on what happened in the morning. I do miss him though. But, I am trying to work hard towards my future. And he isn't my future.