A Little Variety

Sunday (Afternoon).

After Trixie leaves on Sunday afternoon, I send Matt a message. Unlike before, he answers almost immediately.

"Yes," he says in response to my, "Want to grab a coffee and talk?"
He then follows up with, "I'll come pick you up," which definitely throws me for a loop. A part of me feels like this can't actually be true, and for the twenty minutes that I wait for his arrival, I unconsciously feel like I am going to get a text saying, "Actually can you take the train here?"

But, the latter message never comes in and the next I receive is, "I'm at the door."

I get up with a start, and flatten out my outfit. I feel incredibly nervous, like I am about to go on a first date, and I don't know why. Matt and I have known each other forever, so why am I so anxious all of a sudden? And excited.

I open the door and Matt pulls me into a deep hug. It feels so familiar and comforting, that I start to cry. He rubs my back and soothes me as he says, "It's okay. I'm here."

We walk over to my couch and sit down. He turns to look at me, but I am having trouble meeting his eyes. I am so confused right now. He's being so good right now; so much like the old Matt that I know and love. This is who I want to date and to be with. Not the other guy that continually ditched me and had better things to do or other people to hang out with.

It almost feels like Jekyll and Hyde.

"Matt," I start, but she puts a finger to my mouth.
"Don't...I know what you're going to say."

I look at him, because honestly, I wasn't even sure what I was going to say, but he seems so sure of himself.

"I'm sorry babe," he says. And I feel a lightness in my chest.
"I'm sorry too," I respond. Though to be honest, I'm not quite sure what I'm sorry for.
"It's okay," he responds, "Can we...do you think we can...start over?" he looks up at me like a wounded puppy.

And that's all it takes.

I nod, and in an instant, we are kissing again, and it feels good. Like home. Familiar.