King of Hearts

28. It Takes Courage

"Renjani, I was never wanted to be your friend at the first place."

"..."

"Waktu gue ngajak lo kenalan dulu, itu jelas karena gue tertarik sama lo. Sayangnya lo kayak gak terjangkau, lo ada di deket gue tapi juga kerasa jauh. Gue kayak gak akan pernah bisa ngegapai lo. Lo kayak bintang yang cuma bisa dinikmatin keindahannya. Dan gue sadar kalau dulu gue nunjukkin intensi ketertarikan gue sama lo instead of jadiin lo temen, lo pasti gak akan mau deket-deket sama gue. Gue jadi temen lo just so i can stay with you and you won't run away from me."

"..."

"But I don't think i can put up with that anymore. Gue sayang banget sama lo. And i'm starting to feel like i don't wanna be just friend. Sorry if i sound selfish, but i still have to tell you this."

Helaan napas Naya terdengar. "Dery, You know how miserable i am. You're such a very kind hearted guy and you truly deserve all the good things in life. I don't think i'm good enough."

"But i love you," lirih Dery.

Naya jelas membatu.

"You don't?"

"..."

"Gue cinta sama lo karena itu lo, Renjani. We all have flaws, so do i. Just because you have flaws doesn't mean it's degrading you as human being. Don't doubt your worth. We all can cracks. It's normal because after all we are humans. And i love you the way you are. You are the one that i wanted the most."

"How if we don't work as lover? I cannot lose you.."

"You're not gonna lose me. We still got each others. We can make things work."

"Gue takut, Dery. Love scares me."

"Gue yakin lo tau, that the love i have wouldn't harms you. I won't promise you anything, i'll proof it. Only if you let me."

"..."

"Will you?"

Naya kembali diam dan waktu terasa seperti melambat, jantung Dery berdegup dengan sangat kencang menanti apapun jawaban yang keluar dari mulut gadis itu. He gambled his whatever relationship he had today with Naya by confessing his feeling towards her. Dia jelas harus siap dengan apapun yang terjadi bahkan kemungkinan terburuknya.

"Can you just give me some time?" Suara Naya kedengaran berbisik, tapi jelas masih bisa didengar oleh Dery. Laki-laki itu mengerjap.

"Does it means no?"

Naya menggeleng. "I just feel like i have to think of it, clearly think about it."

"Guess that's one and only option i have, take your time then."

***

Begitu Retha keluar dari tenda, dia langsung disambut oleh udara pagi hari daerah pegunungan yang sangat sejuk. Dihirupnya oksigen itu banyak-banyak, seperti sudah lama sekali dia tidak menghirup udara seberkualitas ini. Maklum, sih, sebab di Jakarta udaranya cenderung sudah terpapar polusi yang parah. Apalagi kalau musim kemarau, langit cenderung keruh, tidak ada tuh yang namanya langit biru cerah. Awan pun nggak nampak.

Terakhir yang Retha tahu, tujuh puluh lima persen penyebab polusi udara di Jakarta adalah kendaraan bermotor. Dan Retha sadar dia sendiri juga ikut andil di dalamnya, sebab dia ke mana-mana masih pakai kendaraan pribadi. Mau gimana lagi, sejauh ini bagi Retha kendaraan pribadi masih yang paling nyaman dan aman. Dia pernah kok, pakai transportasi umum misalnya transjakarta. Tapi kalau sedang peak hours, aduh, Retha nyerah deh. Penumpang membeludak, belum lagi dia merasa transportasi umum sama sekali gak aman buat perempuan sepertinya. Diantara penumpang yang bejibun itu, ada saja yang coba curi-curi kesempatan. Jalan ke halte atau dari halte pun, masih banyak orang yang suka catcalling. Risih banget deh.