PHAN ONE SHOTS :)

Man Period, and Phanfiction.

I finished the last page of the phanfiction I was reading. It didn't end happily, unfortunately. I sniffled again, wiping the tears from my eyes. I don't know why I always read phanfiction when I'm bored, I guess it's a lot of wishful thinking on my part. I just want the life fictional Dan and Phil have. Well, most of the time, not particularly this one. Dan ends up sad and alone, and phil ends up with Angela, the artist from Spain.

I wiped my eyes again, I hated sad phanfics. They made me want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. I mean, I deserve a happy ending right? Sure I may have a few existential crises, but I'm generally a nice guy. I just want my mother fluffing happy ending. I NEED TO BE CINDERELLA, minus that twist in time crap, utter B.S. in my opinion.

I wiped another tear away as I looked at the laptop screen that still held the story of utter sadness. I wiped yet another tear away as I heard the door open and Phil walk in. I tried to hide the laptop, but just pushed it off the bed and onto the floor, that is one conversation I did not need to have with my best friend.

"Hey Dan, what do you want for-" Phil stopped, "Wait, are you crying? What's wrong bear?" Phil said walking over to me.

"N-Nothining." I said trying to clear my throat, and sit up like a man.

"I'm just uh-getting a cold, my eyes are watering." I tried to say nonchalantly. I failed.

Phil gave me an 'Are you kidding, Danyul?' Kinda stare and I ducked my head in shame. I was not in anyway, facing this boy right now. I was full of pheels and if he tried talking to me, I would cry like a Narwhal.

"Come on Danny, talk to me. Tell Daddy Phil what's wrong." Phil said sitting on my bed and wrapping his arm around me.

"Daddy Phil, omigod Phil erase your existance and start over. Dear Jesus." I exclaimed with a laugh.

"Did that sound as awkward as it felt to say, because I'm 98 percent cringe right now." Phil said looking ashamed at himself.

"Oh phil, that was more than a little cringe. You look ashamed, as you should." I said while laughing.

"Hahahahaha!!!" Phil gave an over exaggerated laugh. "Mission accomplished, you're no longer sad. Now spill the beans Daniel of Howell, and tell me whats wrong."

He was correct, I did feel better, but in no way was I telling him that I was sad because he ran off with Angela and left me all alone with a freaking hamster and nothing else. I wasn't gonna put myself through that much torture. No thank you.

"Philip, nothing is wrong." I said looking at my hands that were placed in my lap. Don't look him in the eyes Dan, he can read you like a book.

"Tell me, for I am your Lord and Savoir, Daniel." Phil preached.

"Noooo, Phil I'm fine." I said dragging out the O for an extended amount of time.

"Danyul, I will sacrafice you the gods of ultimate pain. Tell me what's wrong, please." Phil gave me puppy dog eyes.

I couldn't resist those and he knew it. Okay, don't panic Dan, just make an excuse. Any excuse. Find a mother fluffing excuse, I stubbed my toe, I got stung by a bee, I'm all out of malteasers,

"I'm on my man period." I said out loud, then in immediatly cringed.

Man period, really Dan, you know what brain fuck you. I looked at phil, who was silently judging me. I could tell. He was giving me the weird stare that made me feel like I had a rash, I cleverly called it, Phil's judging stare.

"Well then Dan, as weird as that excuse was, I'm afraid I have to call your bluff and say that you were reading a sad phanfic that made you cry, and well now, Daddy Phil's here to comfort you."

My mouth hit the ground. How in the ever loving Jennifer Lopez did he even know. And did he just refer to himself as Daddy Phil again??

"If your wondering, You're laptop is clearly on the floor and literally has a sad fan fiction on the screen. You wanna know how I know its sad?

My mouth was still not forming words, so I just continued to stare. What was happening right now, someone slap me with a llama. I can't breathe, I need CPR, I CANT BREATHE. WHAT ARE LUNGS. IS AIR EVEN REAL??

"I read the same one." Phils voice rang out through the quiet room.

My head snapped up, my eyes met his. Wait Phil reads phanfiction. Does he ship phan, because, I ship phan. NOBODY ships phan more than I do, so if he could just ship Phan to, that would be great.

"Wait, wait, wait!!" I excalim, YOU READ PHANFICTON??"

Phil nodded, "All the time, however phan oneshots are my favorite."

I gape at him. "Have you known this whole time why I was sad?

Phil nodded once again, "Well, ever since I sat down and looked at your laptop."

"You bitch!" I yelled with fake exasperation. "You made me fake an excuse, just to hear me say it atloud, didn't you?!?!??"

Phil smiled and nodded, "And I don't regret a single thing."

He grabbed my cheeks and pulled my face towards his, I had my eyes open on shock so I saw him cheekily wink before smashing his mouth to mine.

We pulled apart after a few minutes, Phil smiled at me and winked again.

"I hate you." I mumble.

Phil giggled slightly then said, "You sure are moody when you're on your man period."