PHAN ONE SHOTS :)

Revenge

Here I was; hood up, looking through some girls window at my boyfriend (soon to be ex) kissing some chick on her couch.
I sighed tiredly, what a perfect end to a perfect day.

I turned to walk away, when I spotted Jason's car parked on the side of the road. I felt the weight of my keys in my pocket.

No Phil, don't do it.

I smirked, well the bastard did cheat on me. I slid my hand in my pocket and found my keys. I slowly walked to Jason's car.

Fuck it.

I took my key and slid it along the length of the car, putting as much pressure as I could. I carved the word CHEATER as I went. The feeling of satisfaction swelling within me.

I felt a pang of sadness knowing I wasn't good enough to be with someone but pushed it away.

Revenge now. Cry later.

I put my key in my pocket and looked around to make sure no one saw me. I walked to the intersection and hailed a taxi. I was on my way to Jason's house, you don't screw with Phil Lester, especially not if he has a friend like Dan Howell.

------

Dan met me two houses down from Jason's and wrapped me in a hug.

"How you doing Philly?" He asked gently, pulling me into a hug.

"So far so good. I keyed his car. I want the stupid dick was to pay though." I said stomping my foot.
"Oh don't worry he will." Dan said menacingly.

We walked to Jason's house and I let myself in with the key he gave me last month.

Big fucking mistake.

Dan looked at me and we both nodded. Chris and Peej were down the street in a white van keeping a look out. If they saw Jason they'd ring us and we'd take it as a sign to get the fuck out.

"Dan you start with the bedroom. I've got the lounge." Dan nodded pulling out his pocket knife. Jason fucked with the wrong boy.

I got a knife from the kitchen and smiled. This was gonna be fun.

I slashed an X shape through all his sofa cushions and pulled the stuffing out. I threw it in the air and danced around in it. The couch was dead, just like our one year relationship.

I took one of his stupid golf clubs and smashed his 60 inch plasma screen. Five swings later and I was starting to enjoy the the game of golf. I kicked the TV backwards and it fell off the stand with a satisfying thud. I took one more swing at it, remembering all the times he'd rather watch the game then spend time with me.

I took out a match and lit the curtains on fire. Putting them out before anything else could be majorly burned. Extra crispy curtains, I wish I could light his balls on fire and get some real satisfaction.

I knocked all his DVDs and video games onto the floor and stomped on all of them. Each time I heard a crack I felt ten times better about the breakup. Even though the breakup hadn't actually occured yet, I think he'll get the picture.

Dan emerged from the bedroom and told me to go take a look. I walked Down the hallway which had been spray painted by Dan. Middle fingers and cuss words littered the surface. I smiled at Dans handiwork.

I entered the bedroom and first noticed the huge penis spray painted on the wall. Followed by a destroyed bed that had been torn apart, Dans pocket knife had done a good job.

Stuffing was strewn about and the springs to the bed had been torn out and flung across the room. The bedsheets and pillows were all badly burnt.

I looked at the floor and burst out laughing. Dan had cut out the crotch of all Jason's pants. He really went above and beyond. I was proud of him.

Dan called me into the kitchen and walked in to find him covering the countertops in honey.

"Dan how do you even think of all this stuff?" I asked.

"This isn't even the best part Phil!!!" Dan said laughing in delight.

Dan reached into his backpack and pulled out a jar of ants.

Fucking ants.

He opened the container and poored the contents out onto the honey covered counter. I've never been more amused in my life.

"Is the saying revenge is sweet appropriate here?" I asked.

Dan chuckled and threw me a can if spray paint.

"You know what to do." He stated firmly.

I nodded and shook the can.

I wrote:

ITS OVER.

In giant letters on his kitchen floor. I'm sure the message will ring loud and clear.

I stepped back and admired the handy work.

Not bad lester. Not bad at all.

I felt hands around my waist and Dan pulled me in for a kiss. I kissed back hungrily.

Jason's not the only Cheater among us.