Misunderstood Monsters

Chapter 17: Grief

Billy walked at a calm pace. He was pretty sure he knew where John had run off to, so took his time to think.

Why is he like this? I know and understand what he just said earlier, but this is just too far. I understand why he feels this way, but it's self-destructive and making everything worse. Now that I think about it, I did hear him rambling a while ago about SCP-049...

Billy stopped in front of John's cell and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Billy."

No response.

"Come on, Johnny. I need to talk to you."

"Fine. Come in."

The door slid open and he walked in. John quickly went back to his corner, not even looking at Billy. Billy sat down cross-legged on the floor.

"John... so, lemme guess, this whole thing has to do with SCP-049 somehow, right?"

"Yes." John said curtly, his teeth gritting together.

"This isn't a healthy way to deal with grief, John. You're only making things worse for yourself."

"I'll be fine."

Billy grew stern. "If this keeps up, no, you won't." In fact, I'm kind of surprised that you haven't had a psychotic break by now.

"Then how?"

"Maybe vent to Dr. Collingwood? Whenever I vent to you I feel a lot better after that."

"No!"

"Then how else?"

"I... don't know. Anything that doesn't involve being a burden to her?"

Billy sighed and stood up. "It's up to you. I can try and point you in the right direction, but in the end, it's your choice. I can't and I won't force you to do something you don't want to do. But believe me when I say this, Dr. Collingwood trusts you more than almost anyone else. I say almost because, ya know, she's in f*cking love with Lawrence, but that doesn't matter. The thing is, that fact that, from her point of view, you don't trust her actually hurts her. You're anything but a burden to her."

"Did she tell you that?"

"Not exactly. But I can see it in her eyes. And she did admit to me that she wants to help you, but doesn't know how and feels horrible for that."

Billy turned to leave, but just as he came to the door he stopped and turned around.

"Think about that," he said quietly, before he left.