Misunderstood Monsters

Chapter 42: Madame Misfortune

"Man, it sure looks like Molly's childhood bad luck's comin' back," remarked Eddie.

John tilted his head. "Since when was she ever unlucky?"

"Haven't you been paying attention?"

Simon shook his head sadly. "Life's not done putting her on the breaking wheel."

Lawrence shrugged. "Probably because she works here. I get into near-death pretty often."

"No." Charlie shook his head. "She was the kind of person that one might describe as 'unluckily-lucky'."

"Did you get run over by a bus four times in your childhood?" Simon asked pointedly.

"Um, no?"

"Oh my God, please don't start this conversation." Dr. Collingwood put her head down on the table.

Simon didn't seem to hear her. "Well, first, she has our father constantly trying to murder her when she was a child. She moves away and he can't find her. Then when she comes and works here and just so happens to be in the same facility that we're in. Then there's all the," he coughed, "things that happened to her in childhood."

Eddie gave Dr. Collingwood a strange look. "But seriously, who would fall face-first into a bunch of cacti? "

Simon gave his younger brother his patented no-eyes glare.

"Wait, did that really happen?" Lawrence looked at her. She nodded.

"It was a bunch of cholla cacti. Picking the satanic spine-covered pads out of my skin sure was fun." She spat the last word. "And, trust me, those spines are painful, and they're even worse to try and pull out. The little barbs on them literally rip out tiny chunks of flesh when they come out."

Charlie winced. "I've been on the wrong end of a cholla's spines before, so I understand."

"You know it's bad when a Foundation scientist calls something that's non-anomalous satanic," Billy said.

"That's not even the most satanic plant she's tangled with," Charlie added.

"Please do not remind me," she begged.

Everyone was silent.

"Yeeeeeaaaaaaah... let's not talk about that," Eddie said quickly. "So, in a nutshell, Lawrence was born with a four-leaf clover in his mouth, while Molly was born with a 'Kick Me' sign on her back. And the reason why she never dies is because, if she's dead, Destiny can't torture her anymore. She was called Madame Misfortune when she was little for a reason."

Dr. Collingwood glared at Eddie. "We do not speak of that."