"June baby wake up! Your mom made breakfast, you need to come downstairs and eat something." June's dad called through the door, the girl pushing her eyes open with a groan. She had hardly gotten any sleep, her head starting to hurt from the lack of, making her wish she had been able to sneak a few of minutes. Instead she had spent the majority of her night, wondering what exactly she did want. The answer had shocked her.
She stood from the bed, her eyes going to her image in the mirror, making her eyes widen as she realized how bad she truly looked. Her dark hair was lightened with dirt, the skin on her face red as she realized she was sun burnt. She had bags under hers eyes, ridiculous ones that she could help but almost laugh at.
She opened her bedroom door, making her way down the stairs, following the aroma of fresh food. It was strange being in this house, the girl feeling as if it had been years since she descended the stairs or had breakfast at the dining table. Her mother sent her a fantastic smile, holding a plate of food out to the teen and giving her a once over.
June took the plate, thanking her mother and going to go sit at the dining room table, her brother eyeing her as she sat down. There was so much to talk about, and yet no one knew how to start a conversation. June pushed down the feeling in her stomach, the feeling that reminded her that it was almost as if she didn't belong here.
"It was nice of Rafe to recant his statement. Saved me a lot of trouble." June's father finally breaking the silence, his words already being the wrong ones. June's fork clattered against the plate, a frown settling on her lips. Adam took a sip of his orange juice, his eyes never leaving June as he waited for her to say something.
"I'm sure he just wants something. It's a favor for a favor with that family." June said, her lips pressing him to a tight line as she tried not to reveal to her parents how fucked up the situation truly was. June's parents shared a look, everyone's eyes going to Adam as he spoke up.
"I know what he wants." He said, June scowling as she realized what he was insinuating. He wanted June. She closed her eyes, dropping her head a bit as she realized that he was right, and also that she wished he was wrong. Before Rafe was just letting her go down with the ship, but now that it was sinking it was like he was diving in to save her from the depths below. He was panicking. When June reopened her eyes she stood, wiping her face with a napkin and grabbing her should.
"I'm um...I'm gonna go wash up." June said, side stepping towards the door. Her mother sent an elbow into her husbands side, the man clearing his throat as he started to speak.
"One more thing honey." He said, the regret already settling onto his face as June's mother grabbed his hand. Adam put his cup back down onto the table, his eyes narrowing as he waiting impatiently for his fathers next words. "Sit back down."
June furrowed her eyebrows, sitting back some in her seat and looking between her parents.
"We uh...we wanna lay some ground rules okay?" Her father started, June eyebrows skyrocketing as he continued. "First off, you're grounded."
"I'm...grounded?" June asked, disbelief written all over her face as she shook her head.
"Actually think of it more like prison hon. You're not leaving at all." Her mother said, nodding at the girl. June didn't understand what she was being punished for.
"You're punishing me for being framed for murder?!" She said, her voice raising at the ridiculousness. Her parents shared a look before nodding, making the girl scoff. "This is so stupid."
"Well you haven't exactly been the smartest June. You're 16 years old. Not an adult, and sure as hell not an independent." Her dad said, making June grunt. "Second, you're not to follow these Pogues around anymore got it? I let you do your thing and make new friends but none of these problems started until you got mixed in with t-"
"I'm sorry what?! Didn't Ward Cameron literally try to kill you?! I'm pretty sure my problems started with you looking for shit that's not there."
"June-"
"You can't tell me who I can and can't be friends with! They're my family! They're my-"
"Sit your ass down June. They are not your family! We are. And I'm doing this to keep you safe. To keep you home." Her father shouted, standing from the table now. June was taken aback, blinking twice in an effort to keep her tears at bay. She sneered, gritting her teeth as she sat back down and crossed her arms.
"Anything else, dad?" The last word was dripping with venom, her tone deadly as she waited for him to speak. He ran a hand over his face before calming down, Adam staring between the two with wide eyes.
"No more JJ. That guy is bad news and I don't ever, ever want you seeing him again.." Her father said, the words stabbing her in the heart like a knife. June let out a short, humorless chuckle, her lips pursing as she leaned forwards.
"You don't have to worry about that one." She said, standing from the chair and exiting the dining room. She escapes up the stairs, running quickly into her bathroom and pressing her back against the door. She slid down in it, dropping her face in her hands as she thought of what had just happened. She was on house arrest.
"Fuck!" She screamed, punching the floor as she realized that perhaps she had made a mistake. She thought of what her parents said about her friends, how they were not her family, and this statement went hand in hand with what JJ had said to her the night before. She would never be a Pogue.
She wanted to cry, she wanted to scream and yell as she realized she had left one bad situation, just to enter another. She pondered on what it must be like to be a parent, holding your children's lives in your hands and being able to ruin it without a second thought. She cursed Adam for not having her back, instead just making his snide comment about Rafe. At this point she wondered if actual jail we be better than being free without being free.
Her thoughts went to what Adam had said, a groan leaving her lips as she realized there was truth behind it. June recounted the memories of her and Rafe, her mind betraying her into thinking that maybe he wasn't so bad for a minute. There was no way he would change his entire statement just to help her, the enemy. And if there was there had to be something in it for him, he didn't do it to be nice. She wanted to find out what the reason was, but her new house arrest was not something that would be enforced lightly.
June figured that her mind was racing so much so that it could get away from the fact that her and JJ were over, a fact that ripped her heart out and stomped on it every time she remembered. She was so ridiculously angry at him for what he had said, for what he had done, taking his anger out on her and letting her feel his wrath.
June stood from the floor, feeling a bit numb on the inside as she turned the shower on. She had been waiting for this moment for awhile. She undressed, her face devoid of any emotion as she felt her enormous walls start to build back up around her, something that she had allowed to drop, walls that she regretted letting the Pogues through. All it did was make this hurt worse.
She had given them all of glimpse of who June March really was, and JJ of all people had taken that for granted. June didn't even allow herself to feel the pain of her breakup, instead washing away the physical dirt and blood, the water under her turning a deep brown. June recalled dying, remembering that for a minute there had been nothing but darkness, a darkness that was filled with images of every significant and insignificant thing that had ever happened in her life.
She came to the conclusion that she was better off in that darkness, far from her family and far from her friends and just her. Alone with her memories. It seemed nice, something that she wouldn't mind seeing again. She had ignored the dull ache in her chest as she had entered her home the night before, when she had realized that this place wasn't where she belonged. But if she didn't belong here, and she didn't belong with the Pogues or JJ...then where did she belong?
