JJ had his arms wrapped around June's entire body, his head resting on her chest as they both settled down. The brunette was playing with strands of his blonde locks between her fingers, her eyes closed as she enjoyed being connected with him. They laid like this for awhile in silence, JJ breathing in the distinct smell of her skin and the mixture it had made with sweat, his mind replaying what had just happened between the two of them. June was unable to keep her mind off of the way their anger towards each other head contributed to the quality of the sex, the girl biting her lip to fight back her grin. She was completely unsure whether or not she would be able to walk normally in the morning, her legs having been shaking since he left them, her breaths only just starting to calm down.
JJ was the first to move from his spot, the boy turning his head so that he was looking at June. His blue eyes inspected every inch of her face, wondering where a flaw was and if she even had one. He felt a twinge of pride in his chest as he saw the red marks on her skin, the ones that were started to deepen and stain her tan complexion. His chest swelled with what he could only describe as love, his mind chanting and shouting that he was so ridiculously in love with her. June must have realized he was staring because a small smile came across her face, the girl lifting her hand from his hair and pushing his face away with it.
"Stop staring." She said, trying to hide the humor in her tone as she turned her head to the side. She opened her eyes, looking down at the boy who was looking up at her, her smile widening as he spoke.
"I can't stop. You're perfect." He whispered, his eyebrows twitching together as he felt that he had never spoke truer words in his entire life. He figured that June March had been sculpted by Michelangelo or some shit, the way she was glistening with radiant beauty. He wanted to recap everything that the two of them had just done, starting from the top and reminding her just how much he missed her. He also wanted to call John B or Pope and tell them that he couldn't breathe without her, couldn't sleep without her, that she was his land that he just had to tell somebody that wasn't himself.
"Stop JJ seriously. I'm still mad at you." June said, still unable to drop the smile from her lips. JJ pulled his arms from around her, June watching as he lifted himself up so that he was hovering above her. She felt her weakness kick in, the girl praying that he would kiss her. JJ leaned down, his face getting so close to hers that their foreheads were almost touching, June able to feel his breath against her lips as he spoke.
"I'm sorry for everything I said June." He pressed a kiss to her lips, June accepting it and then whining as he pulled back. "I have no excuses to give you." He pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips. "I shouldn't care about what happened before me." He pressed a kiss to her jaw. "And I can't judge you regardless." His lips pushed against the skin of her neck, June not reacting as she listened to his words. He continued to apologize, his kissing getting lower and lower as June listened for the familiar catch, the part where he blamed her somewhere in his apology. It never came, June realizing that JJ was not Zach Roberts.
She pulled his head up, her eyebrows furrowing together as she looked at the most sincere boy she had ever met, wondering how it was that she deserved someone like him. She felt pain prick in her chest as she realized she didn't deserve him, he was too good for her. She felt tears gather in her eyes as she ran her thumb over his bottom lip, JJ instantly gaining a look ig worry as he watched her bottom lip tremble.
"Don't cry Carly. I swear I didn't mean those things. I was just angry and in the moment and I was looking for someone to bla-"
"I know you didn't mean it. And even if you did you had every right to. I lied to you, I lied. I thought that if I never told you then you wouldn't think I was fraternizing with the enemy. I just wanted you to believe that there was nothing wrong with me." June whispered, JJ shaking his head as she finished.
"Rafe is a bad guy...I understand now why you wouldn't want to tell me." JJs words hit June in a strange way, her chest contracting as she absorbed what he said. Rafe was a bad guy. Her guilt caught up to her again as she felt her thoughts wander, the reminiscence of what she had done in the past clouding her brain. She felt her stomach burning as she thought of the blonde Cameron boy, every feature of her face filling with guilt as she pushed herself back into reality.
"Are we still broken up?" June asked, swallowing the lump that was stuck in her throat. She continued to try to shake the thought of Rafe from her head, her mind replaying the look on his face when he had seen that June was alive in the Bahamas. She thought back to the night when he had showed up at her house at three a.m., the way he had pressed her against the car and threatened her. She remembered the way his hands had pressed against the metal of the door and he had stopped her from moving. The heat of his breath had tickled her skin that night, his words coming to a new meaning in her head as she thought through the situation with the knowledge of what he felt for her.
"No. June when I thought that you died- when Shoupe told us you didn't make it, I felt a part of me physically die. I cried for days, I couldn't- you don't understand how much I really do love you. So here I am, I don't know what to do without you. I can't feel happiness without you. Without you it's like I can't even breathe the air because it chokes me up and my lungs feel crowded when I see you but you're not with me. I haven't been able to enjoy weed for three days now because it just makes me sad when I smoke it. I-" JJs voice broke, his arms squeezing her waist as he poured his heart out, something that he didn't do very easily. Vulnerability was not his thing. "- I love you with everything in me. I have never, never, felt this way before and I'm so sorry. I cant spend another minute without knowing that you're okay to have me back, that me and you are good."
June guilt hit an all time high as she realized she had been thinking about Rafe, her heartbeat quickening significantly as she listened to JJ profess his love to her. She silenced her doubts by kissing him, JJ indulging in it with a sense of gratitude that they were okay. When they pulled apart he laid down beside her, going to put her arms around him but being beat to it by June, the girl taking the responsibility of the big spoon, tangling their legs together. JJ fell asleep with a small smile on his lips, enjoying the feeling of being back home where he belonged.
June however hardly slept at all that night, the girl beating herself up over the fact that Rafe Cameron was haunting her thoughts, her body filling her with warmth everytime she thought of his hands that had once been on her just like JJs had. Once again she found herself trying to justify his misdeeds, her curiosity being the thing that put her in this situation. She pleaded with her brain to stop, wanting nothing more than to enjoy the time she had with the goofy blonde in her arms, the unsuspecting and sweet JJ Maybank. The boy that deserved much better than a girl who was fantasizing about the man who got her into all this trouble. The man who put her best friend behind bars and the man who killed someone in front of her.
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This is cute in certain areas but Rafe did that thing where he got into her head and now she feels bad for thinking about him. I'm getting pretty excited for the upcoming chapters, all this talk about Rafe and the two of them haven't even had any interactions, I wonder if that's gonna change anytime soon 😟
Thank you for reading once again, I appreciate the support
