Death

Not real

Niall's POV

 It happend all so damn fast from the moment I came in to the moment I threw my martini in his face. The whole scene replay's inmy head.

'How dare you?!' I yelled in his face. I throw my martini in his face everyone around us start to gasp 'It's over ! fuck you Harry Edward Styles fuck.you.' I screamed with a thick voic I turns to Audreyl who he just kissed 'How could you do this? you have a boyfriend yourself' I said now. I storm to the people outside.

It's not fair I loved him with my whole heart , I even gave him my heart , I shot myself to be with him! and what do I get back? he cheats on me with a fucking girl and that fucking girl is the girlfriend of Louis Tomlinson. How could she? she got the best boyfriend in the world he loves her with his whole heart and what does she do she cheats on him with a gay. Is Harry even gay? or did he just pity me.

I walk straight to the park and sit down on a bench next to a old man , I start crying silently.

´what´s wrong young man?´ the old man asked me , I look him in the eyes ´nothing´ I answered politly.

´don´t bullshit me i´m not mental´ the old man said , I can´t help but laugh ´okay then, I just caught my boyfriend who I gave almost my life cheating on me with a girl´ I said feeling my eyes water.

´that´s worst I feel so sorry , Bi sexuals are the hardest class you know I can know it I had a secret boyfriend when I was younger , he was my everything my little secret because in my time you couldn´t be gay but we weren´t talking about that anyway I had a boyfriend he was really handsome dark brown curls green eyes we are in love really in love our relationship went so well until we one day went to a beach party with our beards , he drank lot´s of vodka but I decide to be sober , he ended up kissing with his beard he broke my heart in 2 I loved him with my whole heart´ his story hits me hard ´how did you moved on mister´ I asked ´call Henry´ he said ´how did you moved on Henry´ I asked. ´I didn´t , I´ve been broken for a year of 2 but than I met another guy sadly he passed away a few months ago´ I see the sorrow in his ´I´m so sorry for you Henry´ I said ´It´s okay I hate an amazing time with him´ he said ´he gave me the best life I could wish for and for that i´m forever grateful´ I cry a bit ´t-that´s so amazing´ I cried , Henry rubs my back ´You love him with your whole don´t you´ Henry said I nod ´Ask him how much he loves you if he wants to fight for you he is your real love he´ll fight for you´ I smile bright at him.

´Let him come and get you´ Henry said ´Thank you for giving me the great advice Henry your so wise and you more modern than I imagened´ I said hugging him , he snickers´I hear that more ,you get wiser with the years what´s your name actually?´ he asked curious ´my name is Niall´ I said with a big smile. ´it´s already eleven o´clock I have to hit home´ Henry said standing up ´go for it you deserve the best Niall' Henry said before walking away I wave until I can't see him anymore.

I walk for a good 20 minutes to my own house and open the door the fat black word is still on my wall and I can't lie it intimidates me. I go upstaires and take a long shower , when I'm drying myself reality hits me , I'm alone again like I first came here. My eyes are locked with my reflection , I see a guy who went to hard time but he came out it he learned to love again but it didn't mean he isn't still insecure , he hates lots of things about himself. Harry happend and everything changed he made me more confident but at the same he breaks my self system. I open the cabinet and take the razor blade 'I don't cut because i'm worthless or imperfect I cut because the pain in my chest is unbearable' I told myself letting the ice cold iron run over my arm. The burning sensation brings a smile on my face 'i'm gonna lose control' I said to myself.  I keep running the blade , I lost control like I already thought. I'm getting dizzy my arms are covered in blood 'Maybe the end is closer than I thought maybe i'm gonna end up death' I said.

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double update today whoop whoop 

only 2 chapters to go :)

I hope you all enjoyed the double update 

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