Chapter 25 : Navigating

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I could hear leaves crunching beneath my shoes as I ran faster and faster. I looked up at the pretty sky and saw the sun rising like it was racing with me. Despite gasping for air, I couldn't help but smile.

I looked ahead the concrete path and saw Cyprus sitting at one of the benches, drenched in sweat while chasing his breath. Gaya ng dati, nauna ulit siyang sumuko sa aming dalawa. I can't blame him. He comes here every morning for a jog, not a sprint. Napipilitan lang siyang tumakbo nang mas mabilis sa nakasanayan para masabayan ako. 

I'm thankful towards him though. I enjoyed running with him these past few days. Kapag kasi nasa training ay pakiramdam ko kailangan kong manalo. Kapag siya naman, pakiramdam ko ay kailangan ko lang tumakbo at gawin ang makakaya ko.

I stopped running as soon as I reached him. Naupo ako sa tabi niya at agad niya naman akong inabutan ng tubig at bimpo mula sa bag ko.

"You really shouldn't tire yourself out. Mamaya na ang tryout," aniya sabay palo ng kanyang kamao sa mga tuhod at binti. If Argentina was here, he would've clowned him for sure!

"Would losing be such a bad thing?" biro ko na lamang sabay punas sa pawisan kong mukha.

"Do you want to lose?" he asked as he drank from his tumbler.

I shook my head and smiled at him. "I don't know. . ."

He took a deep breath after drinking from his tumbler, wiping his lips using his knuckles. "Bakit?"

I looked ahead and sighed with a smile. "Winning has always been a priority in our family. I even remember crying back when I was in kindergarten kasi pinagalitan ako ng mommy matapos mag-second place sa storytelling contest. Since then, I've been working my ass off to get to the top. Mom and Dad would shower me with compliments and gifts every time I win first place on anything, and it would always feel like I'm on cloud nine. On the other hand, my Kuya would always place second or third kaya lagi siyang napapagalitan. As years passed, I could tell that my Mom's expectations of me grew higher and higher, to the point that she gets utterly disappointed every time I fail. I even get so anxious during competitions that I end up hiding somewhere just to throw up. Meanwhile, they never had expectations for my brother. No one berated him for not reaching the top. He was free to laugh everything off."

I looked at Cyprus again and shrugged. "I mean. . . Maybe losing would remind Mom that I'm not the perfect daughter that she thinks I am, nor the so-called golden girl of this city. That I'm not as skilled and I get really tired, too. And that losing isn't such a bad thing."

He nodded and looked ahead, staring up at the rising sun up the blue sky. "Just run however you like, Joana. Whatever happens, happens."

I sighed and looked up at the sky, too. "Tapos bigla akong madadapa no? My mom would totally flip out."

He let out a muffled chuckle, halatang nagpipigil ng tawa. "You didn't join the hurdle race right?"

"Heck no!" bulalas ko. "I have short legs! Sasabit ko sa barrier for sure!"

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