it ends with us ✦ draco malfoy (sequel to endgame)

loss for words pt. 2

    I am at a complete loss for words. What am I supposed to say to Draco? He wants to get back together with me but I don't think it's a good idea.

    Honestly, I do miss him. I miss waking up to him in the morning. I miss having his arms wrapped around me. I miss you hearing him tell me how much he loves me. But do I miss Draco or do I miss being in a relationship with someone? If I were to slip Theo or Louis into his spot, would I feel the same way?

    Being in a relationship with Draco can be complicated. He isn't the greatest at expressing his feelings the right way. An example would be him getting sloshed and showing up to the ball with girls on his arm because he was nervous to be attending with me or acting like a jealous idiot at dinner because he misses me. I don't want to go back and be in a relationship with someone who isn't foward with me.

    I looked at Theo, Blaise, and Stass who were looking around the gardens, pretending like this conversation isn't happening right now. No one is saying anything. Why isn't anyone saying anything? Now I'm forced to respond to Draco.

    "Draco, I— Please don't do this me right now."

    Draco's bottom lip quivered. His pale blue eyes became glossy. "But I love you, Stella, and I always have, always will."

    "I know, but—"

    "How could you do this to me!", he shouted. "Last time you were pissed that it took me so long to admit that I love you. Now that I say it without complications, you don't want to love me back."

    "It's not that simple, Draco. I can't just tell you that I love you because it's what you want to hear. You just sprung this on me. I had no idea that you wanted to get back together."

    "Now you do", he said taking a step closer to me. "Please, I promise I will be better this time. I won't constrict you from doing whatever you want in life. This time you'll be able to have a say in our future. Just please, try with me one more time", he begged.

    I took a step back. "I-I can't."

    Draco's nostrils flared and his pale nose turned red. He sniffled as a single tear dripped from his left eye. "Why? Why not?", he cried.

    "Because I haven't forgotten everything that happened. You promise every time that you will be better, but at your core, you're a petty immature little boy. You've hurt me so many times and made me believe that things will change but they never do."

    "Why won't you love me?"

    I can feel my heart just hurting. It was physically and emotionally painful seeing Draco like this. Crying in front of me; in front of our friends, asking why won't I love him. This is absolutely heart breaking and I am the cause of it.

    How can I just turn away when he's exposing himself like to this to me? Never in a million years did I ever think Draco would cry like this in front of everyone. He always tried to compose himself whenever he was emotional with me, but to be so emotional like this in front of Blaise, Theo, and Stass, I'm floored. Turning away now would make me look like a real dick and I know I would be so broken about it later.

    My eyes filled with tears watching Draco cry. I tried to keep myself from crying but I couldn't. I bit down on my bottom lip thinking it would stop the tears but it was no use, I was already crying.

    "I'm sorry, but I-I can't do this right now."

    I ran out of the garden, into the main house, and up the stairs to my bedroom. I shut the door behind me and fell to the floor on my knees. Tears hit the hardwood floor, forming small puddles by my legs.