Broken [ Taehyung x Reader]

Ashamed

Rm's pov

Since y/n has arrived, mine and Jin's relationship feels like it doesn't exist after we enter our home it's just been limited to our practice.

We had our breakfast and jin is still upset and he has all the right to be, after eating I walked to library because I want some alone time.
As I sit near window I recalled what happened last night.

"flashback"

Jinnie wanted to cuddle and sleep with me yesterday night but I refused him as there's a chance that y/n could see us and he complained.

Jin: she went to sleep early and she's not gonna see me going to your room.

Rm: but she wakes up before us , she can see us coming downstairs together from my room.

Jin: then let's cuddle in theatre room we'll also have an excuse that we were watching movie and slept there.
* puppy eyes with pout*

( Deadly combination)

I felt like I fell in love all over again by just looking at his face but I had to be more careful, if something goes wrong it'll be on me, after all I'm thier leader.

Rm: jinnie I'm sorry, but we can't bub.( I said with sadness, looking down)

Jin: Is it really about y/n or something else?
( He raises his eyebrow in question)

Rm ( looks at him): what do you mean?  it's totally about her.

Jin: but I don't think that, you just don't wanna spend time with me right,  because there's no way what I just said couldn't work or could backfire.

Jin: and what if she sees us? what difference that's gonna make ?
If she's homophobic she can keep that shit to herself and leave. And about her telling everyone, then so be it .
Are we going to hide it from " our family" ,"our army" , which clearly happens to support us in everything so what's the problem.

( He said that in his rapper mode and guys.. don't laugh, not the time)

Rm: it's not only our future jinnie we have responsibility of other members too , we can't be careless and selfish.

Jin: ohh*sighs* since when thinking good for our own selves has become selfish huh.
( He says with Hurt)

Rm: but we are not alone, it might affect boys too, they are our family we can't do this to them.

Jin: oh joonie shut it with your excuses please, where's your 148 iq now. She signed the contract, she can't tell anyone, otherwise she'll have to face the consequences and you think she can prove her statement even if she says about it and if she tries to take proof that's also against the rules.
And most of all I TRUST HER.

Rm: you are not understanding-

I was cut off by angry and hurt jin

Jin: Let it be joonie , even a blind can see it's not about her, it's about you. You don't want to let a soul know that you are gay because I very well remember your reaction when I came out to boys about our relationship, you weren't pleased , you were rather anxious and you didn't talk to me because I didn't ask for your permission, which was right, but didn't you just say that they are "our family" so, that's the reason I didn't ask you before telling them cuz I thought you would've wanted the same.

Rm (angrily) : IT'S NOT ABOUT ME.

Jin : IT'S TOTALLY ABOUT YOU.  You don't want her to know that you've a boyfriend, not only her, you don't want anyone else know too and let alone the boyfriend being me, right?( tears brimming in his eyes) , well, why would you *laughs sadly*

I'm just a crazy, childish and a joker  person to everyone, right? Because I always try to make everyone laugh and never acts like a mature person like you always wanted.  I'm not good enough for you, isn't it?
(tears flows down to his cheecks)

I was so hurt looking at him like that in all tears , under-confident that I just stared at his face without  saying anything.

And I didn't realise that I replied to his question with my silence which made him a crying mess.

Jin: *laughs sadly* you know, I might not show the world how vulnerable I am or not say much about how I feel but let me tell you this, that I felt my home in your arms *sobs* but not anymore. I thought that you r-really l-love me.

I was wrong, but I never expected you to be ashamed of me. But not now *wipe tears* you can find a nice person for you whom you won't be ashamed of.  *smiles sadly*

Rm: but jinnie listen to me--

Jin: there's no point of argument "namjoon" your silence gave me all my answers and stop calling me that.

With that, he left living room.
All the boys were there when all this happened but they just went to dining for our privacy but they listened everything and..

Suga hyung told to me that
"You shouldn't be blaming all this on y/n, she did nothing, she doesn't even know about you, if it's anyone's fault it's yours for not giving him answers, for not letting him know that you're not comfortable to be open, for not letting him know that you can't give him commitment publically."

Then tae said: jin hyung is right, y/n won't tell anyone she's nice person and even if she wants to she's bounded with contract.

Jhope: and why didn't you answer him when he asked you that, are you  ashamed of him? why you kept silent? Are you really ashamed of him?
Did you ever loved him?
( He said raising his voice a little)

Rm: No, No hyung what are you saying , I love him ( I cried) .

Jimin: then hyung you should've told him that, he can't read your mind, can he??

Jk: exactly!!  if you love him then you have to tell him, you know your silence hurted him more hyung.

I looked at everyone and they were all in tears. I know that I fucked up so I went to his room quickly and all I could hear is his sobs and as I wasn't in great mindset either I let him be because before approaching him this time I've to clear things in my head first.

"end"

As I was in my thoughts someone knocked on the door and I didn't bother to look up so I said
"come in"

A/n: I don't know how tf this story is at #58 in btsyoonmin coz I don't have any readers rn 😂 I think it's just a glitch or something but whoever read this story someday I would love if  you comment coz I like ppl interaction in comment box it's hilarious and I like to communicate through comments too😊.