DRABBLES AND SERIES [ jinbyul ]

short story: i can't make you love me

short story: you're like a star that's too far away, never changing, because i'll always be a fool.

warning: pure ANGST, hint of small romance, but nothing else. 

maybe it was the idea of the latter being unable to love them.

that's why they never tried to make it work even if they sometimes had the urge to.

no one knew why the bond between them faded away, on why they never see each other after some times... on why their friends would always drift the conversation away when it comes to asking how they are all doing.

2016... 2017?

seokjin wasn't able to remember how his little secret started. maybe if they only had reluctances before the courage, things might've ended up in a different way. yet they never had it. 

maybe it was those precious times wherein you'll just want to cherish them from afar instead of pushing something to happen and hurting them eventually, with the possibility of hurting each other is higher than ending up locked in each other's arms.

that's how their lost love faded away without even knowing.

maybe it was a wrong timing for each other, maybe he liked her a little too late, or she liked him a little too early... or vice versa. but after all, they've just realized that they have loved each other so dearly when things are no longer in their timeline.

when he decided to finally pluck out his courage and try again, she no longer wants to make it work, even if she never tells him directly.

so all they can do is exchange small smiles and bows, when it used to be playful hugs and laughter before- when both of them were hopeful that they'll stay in each other's side for a long time.

had he fucked up? has she contemplated too much that he wasn't able to read through her?

even if a lengthy year had passed by, when the rain is heavily pouring, he can't help but think about the possibilities if he had made the first move instead of letting others in his heart without thinking twice.

he can still remember the fright in her eyes as soon as he confessed to her about him deciding to date someone else that's not her back then, but how come he had never considered it? how come he shrugs it off like it was nothing, only to realize that the fright in her eyes meant that she doesn't want him to be away from her?

"so... you're crushing on someone else?" 

it was in 2017, when the two of them were denying the dating allegations, and when he suddenly brought up that he's having an admiration to someone else that's why the rumors in between them are non-existent.

"yeah... she told me last week... so you can put your worries into rest and tell everyone that we're not together." 

that was his full reply.

if he could slap himself right in the face at that very day, he knew that he would. 

why haven't he taken a good note of her glassy eyes before she breaks into a big laugh, telling him that she's relieved that he's finally stepping up his game and dating. he had already felt the slight pain in his chest after seeing her unconscious pain while talking after his confession, he should've already known back then that he's just falling for some looks, and he's already caring for byulyi more than he'll ever know.

that's when his regret started.

at first, dating someone else is fun. 

byulyi even congratulated them, even sending them her gift when their 100 days came. she still hungs out well with them, so he had never felt her absence at those moments.